shoeeee

2004-12-26T19:17:00.000+08:00

i've MOVED!!!

please relink me darrrrls. (:

[[psssst. click on the "moved" la peopleee....]]

2004-12-22T15:29:00.000+08:00

i wanna scream somemore!!! god. -SCREAMS. *STOMP STOMP STOMP* the prom pics doesnt wanna upload into ANY computer. tskkk. 1 labtops and 2 desktops and its still being stubborn. doesnt wanna upload itself. TSK ARH. oh. i miss prom. did i say it was FANfuckingTASTIC. oh yes. i remember i did. HAHA. anyways, i was reading ks's old blog. and i actually din read quite some parts. i think i just missed it. even this part of her prom entry. "haha. anyway, i think he loved nurul! haha. nurul was very "equipped". hoho. anyway, he was expensive but good. he straightened my hair and pull pull tug tug PIANG my hair was frking cool. ahha. and nurul di hair looked like goddesses. hoho. " -screeches. aye. how come i can anyhow miss some parts. MY EYES NEED TO BE REPAIRED. oh yesss. i have to agree wad he did to ks's hair was fab. cuz her hair's short and we all thot dat short hair is gone case. HAHA. in the end, he did a nice nice funky hairstyle.

oh did i mention i think i got ear infection?!?! -gripes. its hurts. baddd. -pouts.

just received ngee ann's "brochure" i shall go dog-ear those courses i'm interested in. i'm quite adamant into not going jc. but keep thinking dat its an easier route to local uni. HAIYAH. nuff nuff nuff abt schools la. why do i have to CHOOSE. i dowan to choose!!! -snorts. LOL.

ackkks. this entry's such a scatterbrain entry. its so messy. yucks. oh yeah. did i mention that i'm in love with three words now? bollocks, sodding and yucks. HAHAHA.

SEE WAD I MEAN. this entry's so messy. =/ -frowns

2004-12-17T23:52:00.000+08:00

i'm a very very very very extremely extremely happy trooper now. just came back from dinner and shoppin` with my jie and da sao. had such a pleasant surprise when when we went to meet my jie and saw her carrying two huge bags. she actually bought me the hugeee carebear!!! -beams. actually the carebear was supposed to be sarah's christmas present. but in the end she bought one for me too. was super duper touched. she got it for me just because she remembered i liked it alot. i simply feel so bad. she keeps getting me presents and more presents and more more presents and more more more presents. i still haf one more dat she hasnt passed to me. wth. make me feel even more bad. i must think of a super duper nice christmas present for her. BUT I DUNNOO WAD. -wails.

oh ya. and jieee. i promise that once i start work i'm gonna treat you to loads and loads of high teas and buffets. -beams. and not only dat, she has so much, so much, so much in common with me. she treats me like her qing mei mei liddat. i feel so fortunate got jie jie like this who seriously looks out for me. from little things like watching out for me when we cross the road to making sure i'm fine. haiyohhh. i simply lurfe her. i seriously think that god simply misplaced me. or misplaced her. we were actually supposed to be sisters. -smirkks.

now i cant wait for our birthday bash cum christmas celebration. thinking of the marriot cafe or merchant court at swissotel. any suggestions pple?

2004-12-17T16:01:00.000+08:00

-screams!!!! I'M BACKKKKK! -grins. my darling computer finally recovered. oh how much i missed the big familiar surroundings of the internet. HAHA. anyways, i've been going out alot. =/ in fact i'm going out to meet my darling jie and da sao for dinnner and shoppin` soon. -grins. other pple found jobs already. and here i am still honeymooning and playin`. tsk tsk.

there's really nothin` much to blog about. except that i wish i was born into the hilton family. *winkks.

2004-12-03T21:57:00.000+08:00

meowwwwwwwww. -frowns. i cant yawn properly. i'm so fucken sleepy and i keep yawning. HOWEVER. my throat hurts everytime i yawn. =( it feels like my tonsils are being stretched and its gonna pop out any moment. hurts real bad. why liddat. -whimpers. i'm so sad. my throat hurts. and i cant YAWN. #*(&$#%^

2004-12-02T22:11:00.000+08:00

loaded up a halfway done up template. hafnt finished with it. =/ hafnt done the graphics. should i just leave it image-less? i was thinking of adding some graphics on the left hand side. shall think abt dat another day.....

-yawnnns. today's the third day of being sickkk. sigh. my fever's subsiding. but i still feel so fuzzy wozzy. sigh. head feels super heavy. -sulks. shall go off to some comfort tv and pillows. (: tooodles!

2004-12-01T15:14:00.000+08:00

i feel like crap now. god. my head's not right. everything's so fuzzy wozzy. mom and brother are having a screamin match. which is totally not helping my headache and is making it worse. god i hate fever and flu together. its a double whammy. been downing alot of capsules and tablets. but nothin`s helping my fever and flu.

help.

2004-11-30T20:59:00.002+08:00

prom at hilton was FANfuckingTASTIC!

it was SMASHIN` babeh. words fail to express the whole experience man! hahaha. i had a major blast! seems like all the planning for prom was worth it. (: everything turned out great. loved the makeup and hairdo. -beams. and it was also den that i realised how fucken rich crescent is. the lucky draw prizes were fab. MINI IPOD!!! gah. -roars. why din i win it. -sulks. now now, who wanna get it for me? haha. if i could, i would relive the whole experience anytime man. that night would always have a place in my heart. it was my last connection to crescent. and now as much as i couldnt believe it, my chapter in crescent has closed. [p.s will upload the pics sooooon! (:]

i'm sucha lazie arse. been lazing around the whole of today. oh hell. who cares. my Os are over. i can do anything i please. anytime i want. HAHA! okay i think i shall get down to finishing my layout. hohohoho.

lil`meanie's away for camp. blahhh. -pouts.

2004-11-24T18:46:00.000+08:00

prom's killing me? HAHA. i'm still not done with my prom shopping. sheesh. and tmr's my last day to settle everything. and i'm doin` my manicure tomorrow. -gleeful look! haha. AND OH MAN OH MAN! i think the makeup artist we hired is SUPER bitchy. and he's a guy! -amused look. HAHA. anyhow it'll be interesting when he comes down to do our makeup and hair. HOHO.

blahblahboooo. i'm so damn shagged now. shall not type anymore. toooodles`

P.S oh. my layout's halfway done. -beams.

2004-11-21T13:58:00.000+08:00

woooooh. hari raya came................. now who didnt know that? haha. dun really have much to say about the festive season. however, last time i never really understood the meaning of hari raya. this year i can say that i really appreciate this festive season. it brought families closer together than ever. -beammms.

anyhoooo, prom's comin` up real soon. settled all the hotel stuff. dad was being a gem by helping me settle it. (: bestie's settling the makeup and hairdo stuff. and i so cant wait for prom! partayyyyyyy!!! (: booooogie all night long. mwahaha. cant wait cant wait cant wait!!! -leappps!

oooo. went to trim my hair on thursday at reds. at first i wanted to cut a new refreshing hairstyle. but my stylist adviced me against it. cuz my current hairstyle's best still. =/ -pouts. -POUTS. my hair speaks BORING. blahh. waist-length hair with non-existent fringe. so he decided it was best to just trimmed and create more movement for my hair. =( think in the end i mite just have to do some form of chemical treatment to it again. gahh.

oh. no one can tell between the difference before i went to trim and after i trimmed my hair. HAHA. i can! no more split ends. my hair's an inch shorter, two inches off my last time non-existent fringe and i lurfeeeee the service at reds and of course my stylist! YIPPEE. haha! he's the best i ever had. shant be nottie and venture off to some other stylist anymore.

came home...... mommy was surprised i stuck to my old hairstyle. haha. but she agreed that this still suits me best. =/ anyhow, she asked me how much was haircut. i fibbed and said "thirty odd only......" and raved about my stylist. haha. she din say anything much after that. HAHA. next day HOWEVER. she found the reds receipt. -frowns. silly me left it lying around the room. she was so displeased that i fibbed about how much i paid. heh. a whole 15 bucks reduction. HAHA. from 45 to 30odd. luckily she was cool about it soon after dat. told her i could have gone to anthony at le salon for 90odd bucks. HAHA. but i din did i?

`nuff about hair. tomorrow's my last paper. its paper one. precisely why that explains my slipshod attitude now. teeheeeee. fine FINE. i shall open my books now. toooooooodles darlings! (:

P.S gonna create a new layout of my own again after tomorrow. have some ideas in mind. cant wait! gonna change my url too. (: yippee yay!

cant help but add dat I LURFE MY LIL MEANIE MORE DEN EVER. haha! (: -grins

2004-11-13T13:31:00.000+08:00

went out with bestie yesterday to look for her prom dress. and the start of it was totally horrid. both of us weren't really very happy generally. =/ i've been having a rough period of time these past few days and her hormones were getting onto her a.k.a PMS la duhhh. and she was late. AGAIN. =/ but not like i'm usually NOT late. but still! i was early yesterday since yonkerrs ago. ended up waiting for her for half an hr. hmphh. and the whole of yesterday i got bullied by a lot of guyys! =( including my dearest daddy. -roarrrs. and just cause di was late i had to hang around orchard mrt. sheesh. got approached by alot of people to donate, to do survey and one offered a modelling job. which was oh-so-hilarious! =/ when di finally came i was so so so so relieved.

but things got better during dinner! (: -beams. haha. and i finally cleaned my messy wardrobe last nite at 2am. haha. all the clothes that were impulsive buys or not worn in a million years, i dumped them. give charity laaaaa. HAHA. realised that there are quite a lot of impulsive buys that i never wore. sheesh. i really must curb my spending. sighh. but lucky yesterday i din see ANYTHING that caught my fancy. maybe it was just my lousy mood. HAHA. but aint it good. at least my pocket will be saved. haha.

anywayyyys, tomorrow's hari raya alreadyyyy! hoho. (: !!!!

2004-11-10T20:24:00.000+08:00

-SCREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm left with TWO papers. YA HEAR ME?! TWOOOOO papers! -leappppps! HAH. -beams. i soooo like cant wait for the 22nd? my my myyyyy. -smirkkkks at sarah. teehee. someone has papers till the 23rd. BOOBOO. haha! so excited for prom, so excited for all the things i'm gonna do, so excited for everything!!!

anyhowww, BIO WAS A TOTAL KILLER. i think? HAHA. or maybe it's just `cause i'm stupid. WHICH IS SOOOO NOT TRUE? okay maybe to a little extent. okay maybe not. HAIYAH. wadever it is, the paper totally reminded me of how much i hated bio. but den again,i really cant stand bio. MWAHAHA. BUT DEN AGAIN! i din really put in all my efforts for this Os. sheesh. HAHA. while people were stressing demselves studying, i was stressing myself by the fact that i was too lazy to study and that i'm not studying enough. OH! BUT DEN AGAIN AGAIN, i did put in 101% for some subjects. AH WELL. i shant be bothered. not going to care. i did try my best? HAHA. so what if i get 6 points. or 10 points. or 20 points. or 30 points. or -HORROR LOOK- 54 points! HAHA. actually i'm not really making sense here? AH WELL.

the above paragraph is so stupid that i feel like just deleting it. tskkk. HAHA. i'm just too high now. teehee. (:

2004-11-04T20:42:00.000+08:00

TSK TSK NOTTIE BLOGGER!
i wanted to blog yesterday and it wanted to crank up on me! OOOO. DADDY CALLED. brb! mwahhaha. i'm back! HAH. i'm treating this like msn lidddddat. tsk tsk. heh. dearest daddy's comin` back tomorrow! (: heh. anywayyys, feeling sooooooo RELIEVED now! teeheeee. so so so so so relieved. teehee. -giggles.

O Level Papers:
~~Social studies~~
~~English Paper 1~~
~~English Paper 2~~
~~Sci [Physics] Paper 2~~
~~E Maths Paper 1~~
~~Literature~~
E Maths Paper 2
Biology
Sci [Chemistry] Paper 2
History Elective
Sci [Physics-Chem] Paper 1

did i leave out any subject? i have a feeling i did. =/ oh wells. nevermind. meaning that subject is insignificant in my life. MWAHHAA. heh. i'm so relieved that most of the papers are down! whee. (: i'm behaving like i finished Os already la! doinkkks. teehee.

oh dere are so many things for me to do after Os. first thing i'm gonna do is HIT THE MALLS! teehee. shopppin`` godddddddddddd. (: my ultimate LURFEEEE. every inch of my body is itching for shoppin. =( heh. but den again i just went shoppin` last week? ackks. i did rite? hmmm. nvm. I'M STILL ITCHING.

my holidays schedule are gonna burst at the seams. heh. i have:
-settle allll the prom stuff
-manicure sessions
-heading to the salon [need to do major revamping to my hair]
-SHOPPIN!
-hotel sleepovers
-PROM NITE [heehee]
-concert [-bounces! -leaps! HAHA]
-catch up on all the movies
-eat all my faveeee food [winkks at bestie!]
-combined birthday bash!
-shop for jie's prezzie [waddoigether!!!shehaseverythin`!gahhh]

and loads more that i cant remember. sheesh. did i promise anyone anything else? teeeheee. i cant wait for 22nd. -bounces! (: *chants 22nd 22nd 22nd!

tooooodles darlin`s. i gotta go study now.

2004-10-31T17:23:00.001+08:00

HAPPIE HALLOWEEEEEN!

trick or treat! (:

damn i wish i was out on the streets collecting candy, dressed up in some funky shit. sheesh. it'll be so much fun.

BUT NOOOOOO. here i am stuck at home, worrying about my Os. sheesh. its wad siti would call a killjoy! hoho. haha.

on a sadder note........
gahhh. SOS! i hafnt finished studyin`. i cant finish! boooooooooo. and last nite i was wonderin` how i actually did it for PSLE. hmmmm. i think it was all a MAJOR fluke. and then i wished that i din do that well for PSLE. okay it wasnt really THAT well. but i remember grumbling that i missed the special stream by 3 miserable points. oh wells. now i feel like slapping myself. if only i din get that stupid aggregate. and people wont have expectations of me. and i HATE it when people COMPARE. goddddddd. and maybe i wouldnt haf entered crescent and be feeling so stupid now right?but then again i just cant imagine being in any other school other den crescent. arghh. i'm just ramblin` on and on and on. sheesh. HAHA.

HAPPIE HALLOWEEN once again! (:

2004-10-30T18:01:00.000+08:00

I'M DYING....................

can you hear me? i SAID.

I'M DYING!

....... -moans.

I'M DYING OF BOREDOM!

urgh. my Os starts on tues. and i'm moaning about boredom.
-disgusted lookk.

someone should just
SHOOOOT ME! whee. erkkks.

2004-10-28T19:31:00.000+08:00

-GAGS. the smell of the stinkin` prawn keeps HAUNTING me. tskk. okayy maybe not haunting. more of "lingering". somehow i keep smelling stinkin` prawns everywhere. sheesh. -sniffffs. go away you stinkin` prawn. you made me dizzy during the bio prac cuz i was desperately tryin` to draw your stinkin` tail. sheeeeesh. and the smell. fuuuuyoh. hahaha. but all in all, the prac was aight. i guess. teehee. but i got quite a shock when i saw prawns the minute i entered the lab. my first thot was "PRAWNS?!?!?!?!?!" =/ i was expecting fruits and yada yada. sheesh. just a while ago we were jokin` dat we're sufferin` from an economic crisis and dey definitely cant afford more den a fruit for each of us. hurhur.

came home to an empty house. parents and lil`bro went shoppin` in jb. WITHOUT ME?! sheesh. nvm. i'm digressing from the reason that i came here to blog. I NEED A REFRESHING HAIRCUT! i wanna do something different to my hair. hmmmmmmmm. i'm sick of super long, straight hair. sheeeeesh. i want curls? short pixie-like hair? sheesh. i haf no idea.

i'm fretting over frivolous stuff when i have this huge cloud of O LEVELS looming ahead. wad is wrong with me? -frowns.

aye remember a while ago i made a statement about how oreos are still the best? HAHA. its the most logical statement i've ever made. -grins. off to chomp on oreos now. TEEHEE.

psssssst. dun you think the fluency of my english is getting weirder? damnnn. -frowns.

2004-10-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

take the last entry to be just some random entry la k?
haha! but i was seriously infuriated by all the calls from crescent this mornin`. and some werent even directed to me? but to my dad?! tskkk. the whole mornin` i was woken up by so many calls. it was getting on my nerves like MAJORLY.

however! things turned out fine today! hoho! the parent teacher meeting turned out surprisingly goood. (: -beams. must be becuz i improved by quite a bit. so gau din have much to attack me with. MWAHAHA. -grins. and i got quite a shock when my dad commented dat "i dowanna come see ur vp or any of your teachers anymore and this had better be the last time." and guess wad gau said! GUESS! hurrrrryyyy!!! hahahaha. -laughs.

*drum rolls*

he said to my dad "the next time i see you i'll hafta congratulate you....." HAHA! meaning he thinks dat i will do well? MWAHAHHAA.

I HAD BETTER DO WELL. gonna go work my butt off now! teehee. OH! and i feel so fuckin` ACCOMPLISHED! -leaps. *bounces* i did so much maths today. and so much of my doubts were answered. -BEAMS MAJORLY. it feeeeeels gooooooooooooooooooooooood. lalalala! (:

alot of things are beginning to look up. and i feel so motivated to work hard! -grins.

2004-10-21T11:29:00.000+08:00

the nearer it is to O levels,
the screwder things are getting.
is dere even such a word as screwder?!
tskkk.
cant crescent give me a rest.
let my mind get a peaceful rest.
i needta study for my Os dammit.
can stop bugging me bout this and that
and this and that and this and that.
its not helping me LA!
i have like wad. how many friggin` dammit days to my SS paper.
tskkkkk. i'm furiously mad now.
tsk. -roars.
*STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP*
GIVE ME A BREAK LA DAMMIT.

2004-10-16T20:27:00.000+08:00

yesterday was farewell assembly.........
it was rather bittersweet and sad. altho i know i wont miss the school, i'll miss the people and the surroundings. damn. its been 4 years. thats a quarter of my life..... during the farewell assembly, i couldnt help but think of how i came into crescent all BLURRR. god. i was soooo blur. i took a whole of idunnoohowlong just to find my classroom. hadta ask so many councillors along the way. CURSE DEM ARH! they din give me proper directions. and i took 2258 years to finally reach my classroom. and crescent seemed like this new huge environment that was gonna swallow me up. =/

this is definitely not in order. its all randommmmm alrite? (:

memories from sec 1 and 2 was of course the most hilarious and wackiest and craziest with siti and nihaad. the two crazie laydees. to me, they are the two most unique-est people i've ever met in crescent and all of the 16 years worth of my life. we had no inhibitions, we were innocent, we were free. and we took that and used it to the fullest. and coz of dat, i've had many interesting memories with you two. (:
- i lurfeeeee you two so much.

and of coz my partner in sec 1 and 2 was ks. i'll always remember how much fun we use to have during lessons. mdm kala being furiously annoyed with us. and we ignored her and continued with our nonsense. kept writing notes to each other. so many things. so little time to write. but please dun forget me alrite? cuz i noe i wont forget you. (:

and my dearest bestie...... diyanahhh. she was the first one i sat beside on the first day of school, i'll always remember how i thot she seemed like the most UN-scary one and how i pulled out the chair and said "is dere anyone sitting here? can i sit here?" and yesterday, on the last day of school, she was again the last one i sat beside. on my first day in crescent, she was there. on my last day in crescent, it was again her. these past year has brought us so much more closer and i'm grateful that at least i have this one bestie in my life. (:

not forgetting my going-to-sch partnerrr, sarahhh. HOI HOI! you arhhhhh. never fail to make me WAIT and WAIT every morning. i think i spent half of my life waiting for you. HAHA. we've been going to sch together since sec 2.... phwoarrr. that's nearly 3 years now. every single morning we'll be crapping and talking nonsense as we walk to ole' crescent. my mornings would have been dull and luffter-less without our nonsensical conversations. its been great having you around. esp when my mornings were HORRID and i needed a shoulder. and also when we were tooooo lazie to walk, we'll cab. haha. sheesh. we're such pigs. i'm gonna miss the morning walks to school. okay. on second thots, maybe not. HAHA. cuz its such a drag to walk to sch. =/ but i'm gonna miss youuuu.

to my dearest and sweetest junior - kellyy. i realllllly lurfe you to bits gurlie. everytime you mention me in ur blog, its surely something really sweet and really pleasing, u never fail to make my day with ur sweet words. and i'm so gonna miss youuu. dun be so nottie anymore k? cannot keep thinking abt eg and neglect ur studies. all the best alrite dearie? and must take care of yourself!!! i'm missing you alreadyyy! =(

to wanpin and alicia...... phwoarr. i've known you guys for 4 years now. thru all the years in crescent. anywayys, i'll never forget all the sweet memories of chilling by the singapore river, eating gooooooood food! (: , shoppppin` and all the crappie conversations we had. how we used to town everyday. watchin` chick flicks. with you guys, i had such sweet gurlie memories. (: dun forget ole` nurul k? cuz i noe i wont forget you two. -mwahhh.

partnerrrrrr! goshhh. i din get to sit beside ya for long. i still remember when the new seating arrangement was posted on the back of the classroom in the temp block, i wanted to faint when i realise i was gonna sit beside you. cuz you seemed so fierce and scary and DAOOO. and i was so scared dat you cannot tahan my NONSENSE. and you mite just punch me. sheesh. hahaa. but of course i was proven otherwise. it was a great deal of FUN FUN FUN sitting beside you. i lurfed teasing you, ANNOYING you. gosh i think i did a great deal of annoying you din i? haha. thanks for not punching me or killing me. and thanks for tolerating all my nonsense. (: i'm gonna miss sitting next to you..........

to dear PEAR-lynn or PEE-lynn. HAHA. -hides. oops. i noe you're gonna kill me for calling you PEAR-lynn or even PEE-lynn. it was jolly fun and merry sitting next to you last year. i'll never forget how much we crapped during lessons. not paying attention. AT ALL. i swear. the two of us never paid attention. during chem, we'll be doing our own work. during emaths, we'll be doing our own work AGAIN. during history, we'll be doing our own work AGAIN AGAIN. -feeling guilty now. heyyy gurl, in fact i still have our talking book. and everytime i open it, i'll be luffing away at our nonsensical conversations or there will be this sad twinge in my heart as i read the sweet messages dat you drew up for me when i was absent from school. i'll miss you gurlie. better keep in touch with me even if it has to be online k!

jannnn`...... HAHA. my most fondest memories with you was during amaths periods. haha! we were always being picked on by mrs tan. cuz we never ever paid attention. we were alwayyyyys yakking away in our own worlds. gosh. it was a no wonder that our amaths results was always one-digit. -grins. you are forever crappie and never fail to amaze me with your nonsense. din manage to talk to you much anymore. and dun blame me that you're not updated. its cuz you dowan to talk to me! =( must catch up sometime alrite? wish you all the best with -winkkks. and work hard alrite! (: must take care of yourself k?

for those who's names i've accidentally left out, i'm so sorry. my mind's just so whacked now. but somehow in one way or another, each and everyone of you has come into my life and has left footprints in my heart. even though we mite not see each other or talk to each other in the coming years..... just wanna let you know that its been great noeing all of you. (:

i'm so gonna miss all of them. sigh. =(

[editted: wrote out some more shoutouts! (:]

2004-10-14T21:01:00.000+08:00

heh. i noe i hafnt updated in donkey years. ppl been asking why also. the past half a month has been a ride thru hell, heaven, cotton candy, fire, water and bubblegum. HAHA. its been tumultous and KERAZEEEEEEEE. =/ with the constant stress and pressure of Os. that i've been losing sleep, suffering from dammit insomnia, stomach problems, mostly stomach wind and nausea. sheesh. frequent migraines and headaches. body aches. sheeeeeeesh. and dat was only the physical stuff. not yet the mental or psychological health and problems. wad wif my parents. him. okay i shall not elaborate on it anymore. it was mostly unhappy stuff. =/

tomorrow's gonna be the last day in crescent. THE LAST DAY. you hear me! LAST DAY. *jumps! -leaps- haha. i'm drained out by crescent. i cant take it no moreeee. haha. blearghhh. i'm gonna miss the people dou. =(

no more waitin` for toot toot sarah every morning to go to school together as she's ALWAYS late. no more dragging myself to school. no more hilarious and crazy conversations while walking to school. no more rushing like mad women to school when we're EXTREMELY late. no more singing the national anthem and school song. -LEAPS. no more asswiped teachers. -hides. okay maybe i will miss some of dem. no more getting scolded for no apparent reason. [EG. smiling at the floor and "talking" when i wasnt.] no more sitting beside my partnerr. god. i hafnt sat behind her in yonkers. sheesh. no more...... alot of things LA. i no time to type it all down. haha!

and you noe why i'm gonna haf no more of this? -hollers! I'M LEAVING CRESCENT! hoho. and i'm going to poly of course. jc life's just totally gonna KICK my arse. =/ haha.

oh been wanting to blog abt this since the prelim results came out. life's so fucking unfair. i hate it. its so disgusting. pple who din study manage to get higher. who did not even PUT IN THE FUCKING EFFORT manage to get good grades EFFORTLESSLY. and i'm so disgusted by it. its so fuckin` unfair. even when you look at bestie and me. i din even study for bio and i managed to get higher den her? i feel so disgusted by it myself. she deserved the marks more den me. sheesh. why is the world so fucking unfair. dammmmit.

2004-09-28T14:57:00.000+08:00

-sniffffffffffffs. i'm a sicko banana today. -roarrrrrrs. was so in pain that i couldnt sleep till the weeeeeeeeee hours of the morning. and by the time i woke up it was 2pm. somebody please pity me. =( my body's aching and my feeeeet's dying. -frowns.

yesterday was lady-in-me day. its a retarded way to address the day seriously. could name it something else right. ugh. wadever. haha. but it was funnnn to go to school in something new. but the programs they had for us yesterday was shit retarded. bold, highlite, underline RETARDED!!! the social etiquette, social grace, social protocol course was simply USEFUL. -rolls eyes. *note the sarcasm PLS. regret staying for it even. -glares at michelleee.

anywayyyy, my 4-inch heels were a killer. KILLLLLLER. emphasize on the KILLLLLLLLLLER. till now my feet hurts like fuckin` hell. offers no support, no nothing. but oh i lurfe it. cuz it makes me look tall. =/ HAHA. sadly i had to live with it. coz it is the highlite of my outfit. OH GOD. I SOUND SO BIMBOTIC. eeeeeeeeeeps. HAHA. i'm so totally entertaining myself now.

in the evening, it wasnt so great. imagine having to run after someone in those killer heels. okayy maybe not run. but walk so fuckin` fast after. -groans. when i already hafta walk so fuckin` slow due to my tired feeeet. and you expect me to walk so fuckin` fast. IOHDUIGHNEWJKSRGBIUE!!!! gahhhh. of all days you choose to yesterday to do that. could have done it some other days when i'm wearing slippers riteeeeee. i'll be more den happy to even run in that. not in my heeeeels. -groans. hahaaaaa.

i really never wanted to be the wedge between a frenship. i never wanted to. never intended to. never even thought of it before. i wish i could make it better for him. as much as i know, being in my position is not great. at all. to be in his position, to be caught between best fren and gurlfren, would have to be the ultimate. DUN EVEN NOE WHY I'M TALKING ABT THIS HERE. I NEEEEED AN OUTLET BABEHHHH. =/

2004-09-25T15:19:00.000+08:00

dang. i cant remember wad it was dat i wanted to blog about. GAH. curse the disease of SHORT TERM MEMORY. blearghh. oh nevermind. forgeddit. when i recall wad it was, i shall come to blog again.

yesterday was a wonderful wonderful wonderful day out with my dear bestie! the two of us agreed to meet at 2. but in the end, trust us to be late. i was late and she was also late till our meeting time was dragged to 245. =/ did the usuals of neos and blah blah. went scouting for lady-in-me-day outfit too. it was really great to just spend the day shoppin` with her. wad more she could distract me. (: we talked a great deal. about alot of stuff. by the time i got home, i was so whacked. we were on our feet the whole day. i lurfe my bestie so muchhhh. and i really really mean it. -beams

right now i'm just waiting for the weekend to end. EURGH. i use to dread for mondays to come. today i cant wait for monday to come. cuz i get to see the two special pple in my life and also its gonna be a blast on monday. why cant the weekend endddddd. -whines. blearghh. HAHA.

tooooodles babehh.

2004-09-20T11:03:00.000+08:00

actually i have very much resolved everything to fate.
we lose and gain things everyday.
items, memorandums, friends
looking around at the pple around me...
looking at myself in fact........
we've lost a lot of things before.
things dat were dearest to our hearts.
friends included.
looking from when i was in preschool to where i am now.
i've been around so many people.
made so many friends.
although most have drifted off.
what with us being on different wavelengths.
i cant deny that some of them has left lasting memories with me.
and i realised that if it is meant to last, it will.
no matter what.
if we drifted.... we cant do anything.
but to just let it be.
cuz dere's really nothing we can do about it.
thats why i said,
i've learnt to just leave everything to fate.
the tighter you try to hold on to someone, the faster you lose that person.
and dat is why i've learnt not to get so attached to anyone anymore.
just in case......
just in case dat one day we were fated to part.

to each and every person who has come into my life and became a friend:
although we rarely talk now, although we rarely meet now, i just wanna say that i'm grateful and blessed for your presence at any point of time. thankeww.

2004-09-18T23:36:00.000+08:00

*leaps*
-bounces-
*jumps*
-squeals-

HAHA! had a wonderfullll day today.
thoroughly enjoyed my day. hoho. (:

2004-09-15T13:54:00.000+08:00

hohohohoho!
just gonna slackkkkkkk. till i'm happy.
haha. no la. gonna get killed if i do dat.
yesterday ss paper finished at 0930. hoho!
while today's bio paper ended at 11+.
dun even ask how it went.
i just wanna luff. =/ its luffably hard.
-roll eyes. bio waddddddd. tsk.
and tmr i'm in the 3rd shift for prac.
SHIOKKK!!! -GRINS.
only need to report in school at 1115.
oh how i ~~lurfe~~ the prelims.
if only sch was this short everyday.
i swear i wouldnt complain. HAH.
on second thots, mebbe i dun lurfe prelims afterall. hah.

oh wadeverrrr. hah. the weather's so fcukin` nice.
off to bed i go. HOHO. -grins.
toooooooodles earthlings.

2004-09-11T18:02:00.000+08:00

things haf been damn dizzifying.
mixed emotions bout a lot of things.
and things took a huge nosedive today and yesterday.
rahh. sigh. we almost had a ~~timeout~~.
and its not even because of us. sigh.
whoever said that life is predictable shoud be
SHOT SHOT SHOT. *bang bang bang*
cuz i realise how my life never has any guarantees.
not even one.
the feeling is awful.
dreadfullyyy awful.
just when things was looking up. it has to fall flat on my face again.

i never intended to do anything. i swear i din mean to do anything. i never in my life ever wanted to be a wedge between anybody for that matter. god forbid. i never even thought of it before. sigh.

-ROARS. why does life have to be so fcuking complicated? everywhere i turn, i walk into a wall. LEAST expected INVISIBLE walls.

[[do not read the rest below. its just angsty lil`nurul being angsty and spouting rubbish dat she never ever meant to sae. but she's just so fcuking frustrated]]
-GROWLS. so fcuking frustrated. is it ever gonna be smooth sailing for us? tskkk. just when we're both so damn happy together. tooting problems come in. LEAST EXPECTED FCUKING PROBLEMS. OH DUN MIND ME. I'M ROTTING AWAY -ROARRRRRRRRRRRS.

-stomps off. rahhh.

2004-09-07T21:55:00.000+08:00

phew. feeling so damn WHACKEDDDD now. =/ tiredtiredtiredtired. exhaustion. haha. -growllls.

went out wif di todayy. (: had a great time wif her. took neos as usual.-grins. went shopping as we killed time to watch cinderella story at 5ish.

i made the biggest, humongous, titanic, gargantuan mistake in choosing our seats. of all places, i took the couple seats. GODDDDD. the agony. of being in between two couples. i just wanted to punch dem. HAHA. nahh. i'm not so violent. heh. maybe only thot of kicking dem. HAH! it just reminded me of how lil`meanie's so damn busy this week. how ta spend time. dangg. aniwaeeeees, when the movie ended, di scared me by bursting into tears. thats the second time already gurlieeee. i think it was the added factor of sitting between two lovey dovey couples and the sweet movie. haha. anyway after we came out of the theatre, we felt so damn depressed. actually i dont noe why i should feel depressed. =/ LOL.

realised of how di is very very very important to me. without her. i think i dunnoo how i do alot of things. we've been doing everything together. when i'm angsty, i go to her. when i'm depressed, i go to her. when i need support, i go to her. when i'm hungry! i go to her. even if its a simple lunch somewhere near, she'll go wif me. hahaha. been seeing her face every single dae. even when we dun go to sch. even early in the morning, i'll hear her voice. she has inofficially become my siamese twin. cannot be separated from me. heh. even mdm yap has realised dat. if di's not dere, you dun see me. if di's dere, you'll see me right behind or somewhere. (: because of today, i realise how much she means to me. and i've learnt to treasure her even more.

shoutout to di!
its good to hear dat i made you feel better. nono. correction. its GREAT. cuz noeing dat you feel better has to be the utmost importance. (: and no probbbs babe. wad are besties for? remember dat no matter wad. you'll still have me to fall back on. and heyyy. i really lurfe you too chica. but pls. when i'm offering you a shoulder or a hug. pls dun cry. hahaha. its supposed to stop your tears or make you feel better. not make you cry summore!!! -scratches head. haha. hilarious la you. i had a great day wif you today. -hugggggs!
anywayyyyys,

give me a B!
give me an E!
give me a S!
give me a T!
give me an I!
given me an E!
wad do you getttt?!!!!!!
-hollllers! BESTIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-grins. i have two very special people in my life. and i couldnt ask for more. (:

[[-lovin`it-*\\

2004-09-05T19:49:00.000+08:00

its stories like this dat never fail to amaze me. (:

Scene took place on a BA flight betweenJohannesburg and London. A white woman,about 50 years old, was seated next to a blackman. Obviously disturbed by this, she called theair Hostess. "Madam, what is the matter," thehostess asked. "You obviously do not see itthen?" she responded. "You placed me next toa black man. I do not agree to sit next tosomeone from such a repugnant group. Giveme an alternative seat." "Be calm please," thehostess replied. "Almost all the places on thisflight are taken. I will go to see if another placeis available." The Hostess went away and thencame back a few minutes later. "Madam, just asI thought, there are no other available seats inthe economy class. I spoke to the captain andhe informed me that there is also a seat in thebusiness class. All the same, we still have oneplace in the first class." Before the womancould say anything, the hostess continued: "It isnot usual for our company to permit someonefrom the economy class to sit in the first class.However, given the circumstances, the Captainfeels that it would be scandalous to makesomeone sit next to someone so disgusting."She turned to the black guy, andsaid, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, pleasecollect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you infirst class." At that moment, the otherpassengers who were shocked by what theyhad just witnessed stood up and applauded.
>> BOYCOTT. PLEASE SEND THIS MESSAGE TO ANYONE YOU KNOW >>>> Scene took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg and London. A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess. "Madam, what is the matter," the hostess asked. "You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat." "Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available." The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. "Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also a seat in the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first class." Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued: "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class. However, given the circumstances, the Captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting." She turned to the black guy, and said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first class." At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.

2004-09-05T13:50:00.000+08:00

its stories like these dat bring tears to my eyes.
- the terror that hit madrid 11 march. where the trains were blasted killing 191 lives.
- the recent russian school siege. involving so much kids. i just cant imagine the pyschological trauma they are gonna face for the rest of their lives.
- the highly publicised 9-11 terror.
and yada yada yada...
there simply has been too many blood carnages like this around the world. sigh.
innocent people losing their lives.
=/

2004-08-31T18:59:00.000+08:00

i was disgusted by a lot of things today. just too manyyy. =/ i cant take it. it was just too OVER the top for me. -frowns. forgeddit it. why even bother thinking bout it.

#1 lesson learnt:
pms is really a very intriguing, scary, unpredictable, extreme feeling or behaviour. it can make someone really hyper, really depressed, really impatient and not only that, it evokes a lot of emotions too. no one can stop it. rarely anyone can avoid it. even guys get it. [just dat its not called pms. durhh.]

today itself i witnessed a display of an extreme showcase of pms-ing. haha. di totally freaked out and burst into tears. she was so frustrated and pissed off. that she just burst into tears. little did i expect her to do that. it was rather hilarious. in a silly way. that silly girl. it seriously must be that time of the month. cuz she's been hysterically crazy? weirded out? these few days. definitely more angsty. haha. and den at the end of the day she will feel bad and ask me "am i still your bestie? after freaking out on you a million times today...." hahaha. she'll always be my bestie. (:

life's just so unpredictable. there's really no other adjective for the stuff that happened to me since last week. life has taken such an unpredictable turn. but now i realise of how through all the scrapes and falls, i've learnt some very valuable lessons. how to appreciate people more. how to cherish them more. to give chances. to take chances. to risk everything. i've mellowed. change. matured. grow up. -beams. no wonder they say patience goes a long way.

however when i came home. i was feeling so damn frustrated. with everything. i wished that life was much easier. i wished that i could do things that i lurfe. not to be forced into doing things. just cuz thats wad everyone is doing. its just irking me out. to force myself into doing things i DONT want to. disgusting.

seriously. wads the point of studying so hard? the only purpose i'm doing it is cuz i wanna lead a comfortable life when i grow up. to be able to do the things i like, to be able to buy things that i like, with no contraints of money. and also to do my parents proud. so that they can say it with pride that they have a successful daughter. thats the least i can do to show my gratitude for bringing up sucha nonsensical daughter like me all these while.

but can that one certificate GUARANTEE me a comfortable life? can it guarantee me that my life would be much smoother? .........no? it cant? cuz these paper qualifications. 185121324651321 others have also. alot of successful people came to where they are now without these paper qualifications. i know that one will forever be learning. knowledge will never end. u can never say that you have finished learning. cuz every new day is a lesson by itself. through these scrapes and fall, you pick yourself up to be a better person.

but most of the stuff that they teach us in school are not applicable. not applicable in life. school does not teach you how to be a person. of what dignity and pride is. it doesnt. it doesnt teach you to love your fellow mates. to show concern for the unfortunate. maybe through CIP and yada yada yada. but do you really think that these so called CIP teach the students of the real meaning of suffering. of misfortune. students tend to take it for granted. that its something they are OBLIGED to do. the academics they teach us in school... these are not lessons for life. half of it we dun even remember after we take the exams. if thats how they assess intelligence. den i'm sorry. its the wrong way. its just wrong to judge someone's intelligence on their academics.

smart people are usually the scrupulous ones. usually the ones who scheme. they think they're high and mighty. usually the ones who's been casted as the "lesser intelligent ones" are the ones who are more down-to-earth and in touch with the world. they know what misery is. to be looked down upon.

it feels good to be judged as one of the smart ones. but think of how it feels to be one of those who are thought of by the society as the "lesser intelligent ones". just because someone is in poly and not in jc, does not mean that they are a lesser human. it does not mean that they should be looked down upon. it doesnt mean anything. dont assume that someone's STUPID just cuz they are not in a school for smarter students.

i have no idea why i'm typing out all these gibberish. but sometimes i just feel that life's ever so UNFAIR. who ever said it was fair should be shot. so frustrated with life. everyone's just too caught up with their own lives that they never ever open their eyes to the real world. the real world. suffering. misery. famine. wars.

sometimes even i find myself a victim of this blatant ignorance. but there's so much more to life. and i should work on to make it better. for myself. for everyone.

2004-08-29T18:26:00.000+08:00

pls..... PUHLEASE..... remind me again why i'm at home wif my mom? -pulls out hair!!! she's being impossibly unreasonable. one of her days again. GAHH. someone should just spare me the agony and stab me. or rather stab HER. and spare ALL OF US the agony. hoho. -grins.

sucha lazy pig i am. having one of my lazy days again. been sleeping the whole day off. sigh. this is bad. there's this wiggly feeling in me that keeps shrieking "YOUR PRELIMS! YOUR PRELIMS! TWO WEEKS LEFT! HURRY UP LAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! STUDYYYY!" like a fcuking broken tape recorder. it keeps repeating and repeating. darnnnn.

aad was horrid. i think the most happening fun fair would have to be the one two years ago. everything was much nicer when i was in sec 2. =/ everything's just getting suckier in crescent. the culture's dying off. i remember how the seniors were so much MORE happening. more crazier. now the juniors are like all so YUCKS? haha. all too guai for deir own good. should be more rebellious laaaa. aad was soooo uber boring. IT WAS HORRIBLE. gahh.

rather freakaleeq afternoon. =/ i would never wanna relive it. but it turned out fine in the end. sucha relief. haha.

anyways, my grown up christmas list is sucha sweet song. (: -smiles

2004-07-25T11:56:00.000+08:00

sighh. di's sick. she was down wif very bad flu yesterdae already. and i guess todae it got worse. =/ take care alrite... i got no one to talk to nemore. only you. so u must get better! and u're my only study partner. the others all either haf tuition todae or dey live too far away. =/ sighh. i need u di!!!! hurry up get well. heh.

totally gonna haf a retarded dae todae. was looking forward to meeting di and studying our asses off. but she's sick. oh wells. stuck at home. but going out to eat lunch wif daddddie dearest later. mom's getting on our nerves. and she keeps blasting at me for no apparent reason. dad told her to keep quiet cuz she's just ranting for no reason and i totally din do anithing wrong. -giggles- den mom had this look of horror. hahahax.

after dat dey're going out and i'm gonna sit at home and study. damn i need someone to be dere when i'm doing maths. gahhhh. if i dunnoo how to do, how do i go on??? nothing to refer to la pls. maths is so unlike any other subject. tsk tsk.

sighh. sometimes i feel like as dou pple talk to me, its cuz dey haf no choice. dat dey haf no one else to talk to newae. so i'm just like a replacement. a substitute. and like i'm invisible. felt totally invisible yesterdae. if not for candice pulling me around. think i wld haf just walked off and no one wld realise? hurhur. but it got better la.

cuz of all dat has been happening around me. i realise dat i live in such an unhappy world. nothing dat i want to go right will go right. nothing dat i want ever stays. nothing is forever. i noe. but now i realise dat forever is nothing. dere are so much conflicts going around. unhappy people roaming the earth. i feel unhappy outside. i feel unhappy inside. i feel unhappy at home. i feel unhappy when i'm out. gahhh. i wanna be happy. dammit. the only thing dat is looking up for me is studies. and considering dat Os are near, its good dat my studies are looking up. right? righttttt. hahahax. i'm answering my own questions now. blearghh.

mom's ranting again. for no apparent reason again. sighh. over and out.

2004-05-23T18:29:00.000+08:00

gahhhh. i like just finished bawling my eyes out. sighh. now i'm so damn exhausted. it all started when lil' meanie called. and we were talking and blah blah. and he had to go off cuz he was going out for dinner wif his familyy. and den suddenly a sharp pang in the heart. and i started crying. i miss my family. i miss going out for dinners wif dem. i miss hafing a COMPLETE family. gawd dammit. i'm gonna start crying again. i realise how i took everything for granted. i just want dem to talk to each other and be civilised to each other. is it so hard? are dey gonna continue hafing this silly cold war. i'm caught in between all the harsh words. just cuz dey cant vent their anger on the other party cuz dey are not talking to the other party, dey think its fine to do it on me. its beginning to take a toll on me. i just want things to go back to wad it used to be. its been nearly 20 daes. i miss tasting my mom's cooking, i miss hafing proper dinners wif dem, i miss all the luffter and teasing in the hse, i miss seeing two of dem sleeping soundly on the same bed. i miss my family.

i feel bad for making lil' meanie worryy. but i reallie envy him. my family used to be like dat. but not animore. and i wld do anithing to see dem go back to like how we used to be. why can his family be so happy wif each other's presence? why cant mine? sighh. i just want to haf my family back together again. is it so hard? sighh.

2004-05-09T16:02:00.000+08:00

heeee! new layout! nice or boo boo?
or was the last one nicer? hurhur. spend quite a lot of time on this one. pfffft.
dunnoo why my inspiration only came todae. very very long since my last inspiration. heh.
aniwaes, why am i here?
when i'm supposed to be studying. hurhur. nottie me.
hurhur. but dats nurul for you. heh.
aniwaes, shall continue mugging now!
wish me larkkkk!
-beamms-

2004-05-04T12:59:00.000+08:00

lets seeeeeeeeeeee.
wad haf i been doing for the past 3984234 daes?
bullshitting around.
crapping around.
bahhhh.
hurhur.

look at wad i'm saying. not even making sense. oh wells. dats nooroooooool for youuu. -grynnns-

HAD A DAMN HIGH AND LAUGHY NITE last nite. hurhur.
thanks to the one and only little meanie.
hurhur.
pin thinks i've gone kookoo and is deliriously high!
but cant stand it.
TOO KEWT ALREADY!
cannot.make.it. hurhur.
just tooooo kewt already.
miss the lil' meanie so muchhhh. hee.
and last nite just made me miss the lil' meanie even more! hohoho.
even dreamt of lil' meanie last nite. -fr0wnsxx-
heeeeeee.

i'm so totally not making sense now.
but if i had posted an entry a few daes ago, you wld haf gotten a damn upset entry.
a damn-upset-noorool-entrie.
shows how little meanie brings me on an EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER RIDE
everytimeee.
everytimeeeee.
can be damn down one min, can be damn high one min. tsk tsk.

rite now i cant wait for the 15th. woooohooo.
its totally gonna be just the gurlfrens-dae!
-winkks-
up for some funnnn laydeees? hurhur.

better zip up my mouth now. not even making sense. -shakes headdd-

2004-04-27T17:19:00.000+08:00

Attention to all 4gee3 Attitudettes!

bahhh. boooo. bahhh. boooo.

i realise dat gee3 has loads of mini conflicts going around. =| wads wrong peepies?
i just wish dat everyone can apply this simple but sweet song to all the issues around the class.
i just want gee3 attitudettes to be HAPPIE!
cuz we simply rawkkk babyyy. -beams-

i lurfe you
you lurfe me
we're a happy family
with a great beeg hug
and a kiss from me to you
wont you sae you love me too?

-winksx-
reallie reallie.
right now all the attitudettes shld unite and work together to prove to the tchrs dat
WE CAN DO IT! -smiles-

hurhur. dat sounds damn lame. but yeahhh. we shld all unite. and continue being the fun class. -nods- =]
lets all forgive and forget yea?

2004-04-24T16:10:00.000+08:00

been a rather monotone yet crazy week? dunno. cant recall also. blearghh. i lost my damn ez link card again. GRRR. hadta make a new one. alrite. better not curse it. must praise it or else it will hide from me again. den i cryy arhhh. oh gawd. whu ever heard of praising ez link cards? bahh. aniwaes, dunno larh. i'm just very emotionless rite now. life's still pretty messed up, damn stale. but all i can do is to take a step at a time.

parents are acting so childishly. goodness gracious. a "cold" war brewing in the hse. but pls. its like not even working. cuz rite now dey seen to be communicating already? and i always tease the two of dem about deir "cold" war. its bro's bdae todae. mom not in the mood to go out. dad's just going along wif mom i think? but i think later in the end we mite go out larhh arh. but i'm damn tired now. OH GAWD! my entry's beginning to sound childish and sounds like a whole lot of bullshit. dunnoo wad i'm trying to sae also.

-frowns-

-double frowns-

-triple frowns-

i'm beginning to get annoyed wif him. but den when i am. in a short moment i will just forget all abt it. and after a while, i will be like "eh? wasnt i supposed to be annoyed/angry at him?" i can nv seem to stay angry at him. grrr. this sucks.

-frowning like mad already-

2004-04-14T23:03:00.000+08:00

Should I smile because he's my friend, or cry because that's all he is..

2004-04-13T21:51:00.001+08:00

[[ Soulmate ]]
Two little words, one big concept. A belief that someone, somewhere, is holding the key to your heart. And your dreamhouse. All you have to do is find them. So, where is this person? And if you love someone and it didn't work out, does that mean they weren't your soulmate? Were they just a runner-up contestant in this gameshow called happily ever after? And, as you move from agebox to agebox and the contestants get fewer and fewer, are your chances of finding your soulmate less and less?" _*

i am so relieved todae. -smiles-
but den again, nothing's solved, i'm just at the crossroad, with no idea which direction to go to. sighh. -frowns-

2004-04-13T21:51:00.000+08:00

to all the gurls:
eat oreos and flushhhh all the guys down the toilet bowls and den rejoice and be happy!

to all the guys:
MAKE oreos for the gurls to eat and den LET dem flush you down the toilet bowls for wad matters is dat dey are happie!

WAHAHAH! noooooroooool's logic. aint ya all proud of me?
-munching on oreos-
wheeeeeeeee.

2004-04-08T20:36:00.000+08:00

i hate the nites
i dread nite time
i dread sleeping.
the nites just dun make anithing easier for me.
as tired as i am.
i just dowanna sleep.
becuz in the dae if i think of him, i can reprimand myself.
but at nite, if he appear in my dreams, i cant stop it. at all.
and den it just depresses me even more the next morning.
i will wanna cry
becuz in the dreams, he will be so damn sweet.
every single nite i've been dreaming of him.
cant it stop?
i din wanna get affected by him.
but now?
damn him.

why must you mean so much to me?

2004-04-06T22:15:00.000+08:00

No matter what I do
All I think about is you...

sighh. i lurfeee this song now. hahahax. damn. its so totally troo. 24/7. even when i'm exhaused till my brains are fried and when i made up my mind to NOT think abt him animore. he just has to appear in my dreams rite? two consecutive nites. it was such sweet dreams summore. sighh. woke up and nearly cried. WHY MUST BE SO DAMN SWEET?! its just a damn dream. DAMN.

// [ damn you. damn me. damn everyone. damn ME ] \\

2004-04-04T16:34:00.000+08:00

last nite's campfire was a BLAST! and a huge success! it was sooo happening. it was soooooperb. i am really proud of our cohort. for putting up such a great show. kudos to all the sec 4s for all the hard work. although dere was a few glitches at the start, wad wif the fireball. fireballie gurlies [sioks,suiling,mayleng,lysia]! dun think too much abt it! not your fault okayyyy! den fast forward to after our performance, most of the sec 4s started crying and being emotional but was still as crazy and high and grinding like nobody's business. i am really gonna miss all the crappiness, lame jokes, dirty dancing, GRINDING!, raging hormones, luffters, EVERYTHING. i'm gonna miss every single one. if one was missing it wld feel incomplete. yet when i'm beginning to feel like i belong. we are gonna step down so soon. sighh. i am really gonna miss everyone and everything. been thru alot these 4 years yea?

backtracking to yesterdae morning. i just broke down? i dunnoo why. i haf no idea why. my mind was empty. my head hurt. i never felt this way before. NEVER. but i felt bad for this is our last campfire. OUR campfire. and i was in a depressed crazy mode. wad wif me suddenly crying and looking like a maniac whu had to be pulled around by wan pin. and wad wif suddenly squatting down and crying in the parade square in front of all the juniors. i had no idea why. all i noe was dat i felt horrible. i felt reallly horrible. it had nothing to do wif the campfire for sure. i love it to bits. really wanna thank all those whu were dere for me when i was in my dunnoo-wad-moments. wad wif serene and soo ying dancing like cute lil' maniacs hoping to cheer me up. but at least it made me luff momentarily rite! hahahax. and really thanks to all those who talked to me, hoping to comfort me. really helped me. and to seow kai lun for telling me to cry all i want. to let it all out. not to repress it in myself. she was rather scary yea? i mean i never seen her so i dunnoo? it was indescibable. and wad wif mrs goh being so funnie. she was talking to me, trying to find out wad was wrong. and she even wanted to feed me wif chocolate? hoping it wld help? hahahahah. so sooper funnae! quote "want me to drag you to the teachers room and feed you wif chocolate?" and she even said "this is not the nurul i usually see? this is someone else! wad is wrong??" she's so sooper funnae larh! but at least it helped a lil'. and thankew so muchie to my darleeng gurl fren wan pin. she followed me all around. and stuck to me like gloo. no matter how matter times i shout at her to leave me alone. she scolded me, she comforted me, she made me luff, she begged me. she did everything to cheer me up. she even followed me when i was wandering aimlessly hoping to find back the nurul i usually am. and even sat in the middle of the carpark wif me when i suddenly plonked myself dere. and when i just sat and closed my eyes. she just sat dere. waiting. thanks alot dearie. -beams- trooly my gurl frennnn! hahahx. and to all those whu helped me and talked to me. i cant possibly list everyone but yeahhh. thanks alot alot.

back to the lurfely campfire. had so much fun. dancing and grinding wif alicia, wan pin, sioks, may leng! and lots of others. and when we were clearing up and carrying the table down thru the landscape garden. we were screaming so much. just for the fun of SCREAMING. hahaahx. in the end, the nice nice gan eng seng scouts was like "ladies you need any help?" we had like 6 gurls carrying the table? dey needed 3 guys to carry it. damn. hahahhax. but oh wells. we were so tired from being in sch the wholeeee dae larh. wad you expect? wahahhax. but den again. i wanna sae I'M DAMN PROUD OF OUR COHORT! all the hard work din go to waste rite? in fact it was a huge success. i am really gonna miss all of you guys. sighh.

-*// CREZ GUIDES SEC 4 '04 RAWK! \\ - -beamsx-

2004-04-02T15:16:00.000+08:00

immune system really bad this year i realise. DAMN DAMN bad. sick very easily. and now even worse, not only sick larh. its BITES. MYSTERIOUS bites. hahhax. dammit lor. its damn damn damn itchy. cannot take it. since tues morning. *@&$@&#*@&#*@&#* tty was horrified. wahahhax. damn wacky. realise how damn messy and packed my life is compared to other pple in other skools. damnnnn. darn crescent. bitter abt everything to do wif crescent except for crescentians and the sch surroundings. will miss it. but NOT the tchrs, principal, DM or VP -spats- i'm just friggin bitter abt crescent. cuz of dem i haf a phobia of sch. DAMN. aniwaes, dat aside. !IIAWAKOSSIFAHS cannot take it! wahhahax. too kawaii ler! dammmmmnnnnn.

// - * charming. kewt, sweet. can stay away from me nort?! you're a hazard. bwahahahx. - \\

2004-03-28T15:34:00.000+08:00

Building Love
By Marnell Jameson

Mum's in the hospital. Nothing huge - just a knee replacement. She's 78, the same age as Dad, and the joint has just plain worn out. But our small family frets. We worry about the small odds that something might go wrong, which will someday happen, but we hope not just now.

After she was wheeled into surgery, Dad and I headead to the hospital lobby. "How are you doing?" I asked him, trying to jump-start a conversation.

"Lousy," he said.

"We have a routine," he continued. "I slice the bananas; she pours the cereal. I gather the laundry; she runs the washing machine. I don't know what kind of soap to put in."

All this time I'd been worried about Mum, but I realised Dad was in the hospital too. The laundry soap was just the beginning. He was alluding to their daily dance, finely tuned after 53 years of marriage. She cooks. He gardens. He turns down the bed, she makes it up. If the roles were reversed, she'd feel the same desperate way.

What happened to their indepence? I imagine it was a slow surrender. As in most marriages, couples either wear each other out or break each other in. It happens by degrees. You have to give to gain. Intimacy required dependency, which required vulnerability. It's a package deal. And the deeper the love, the greater the risk.

When we're young, we often look at our parents' relationship and think, How dull. We naively compare it to adolescent love, with its erratic pitches of hope, headiness and heartbreak. As a teen, the feelings seemed real to me in a way that my parents' love didn't. I confused intensity with genuineness. Genuineness takes time.

Mature love picks up where romantic love leaves off, and while very different, it's also in many way better. Yes, the sun sets, taking its flames, but the moon, more magical, rises. Romantic love delights in novelty, while mature loves revels in consistency.

With our matriach down, Dad had caught a glimpse of how much he needed Mum. How she's the zig to his zag. Dad also knew the two things Mum would want most when she woke up from the surgery were her glasses and lipstick. So he had them there for her.

Mature love is the payoff for investing in romantic love - which we all know doesn't always pay - and for doing the work of mature love, the giving to gain. My parents are no longer beautiful, though they were in their day. But they're clearly beautiful to each other.

"I miss her," Dad tells me a couple of days after her surgery. Though he sees her every day, I know he means he misses her beside him in the bed they've shared for half a century. He misses their routine. And I know, after she has recovered, after he's once again slicing the bananas while she pours the cereal, that as a result of all this they will have moved yet another degree closer.

romateeq lurfe, mature lurfe. HRMSX. love sighh.

2004-03-20T23:30:00.000+08:00

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! hahhaha. i feel so loved todae! heheheh! one simple sentence from him can make me melt already. sighh. i hate myself. for i cant seem to make myself hate him even a lil' bit. i cant seem to make myself resistant to him. sighh. aniwaes, on a brighter note, a shout out to my angel. ILURFEYOU tooo angellll! you rawk my world!
-beams-

2004-03-20T15:23:00.000+08:00

sighhh. its sat already. meaning the sch hols are gonna be over in a dae. this is the WORST march holidaes i ever had. in sch practically every dae. its almost like a nomal sch week. grrrr. all cuz of o's. no life. no nothing. this is so irritating. in fact at this moment, i'm rushing off to a campfire soon. thot saturdae wld be relax dae. but NOOOOO. i got sch commitments. blearghh. aniwaesx, shldnt be so bitter abt it. once Os is over, i can go do wadever i want all over again. hee. and i've been dreaming alot abt mo mo ren. hmmmmmm. wad does it mean nia. every single dream also dominated by mo mo ren. sighhhh. its been 12 daes and counting. sighhhhhh!

on a side note, updated my linkies. realise got a lot of nygh pple in my linkies. wahahhax.

2004-03-15T15:57:00.000+08:00

ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. i got molested on the 132 bus to sch this morning. sobs. traumatised traumatised traumatised traumatised traumatised traumatised traumatised traumatised traumatised traumatised. the darn PERVERT got BOOBIES summore. GUY EH. got boobies. YUCKKKKKKKKKS. he kept rubbing his boobies on my arm cuz i was grabbing the pole in front of him. YUCKKKKKKS. i thot nothing of it at first lor cuz the bus so packed and i thot its accidentally de. and den it was so persistent, i couldnt take it. and not only dat i was so happily talking to yasmeen when i felt something on my thigh, thot it was my hp vibrate or something. but it was like persistent. when i look down horrors of horror, the pervert had his hands inching towards my inner thigh already. i was so stunned dat all i could do and sae was to turn to yasmeen and sae "YASMEEEEN. GOT MOLESTOR BESIDE MEEEE..." look at the words i can come up wif when i was stunned?!?! such an airhead statement. bahhh. dats besides the point. -sobs- i can still feel the ass's hand. i shld haf elbowed him in the ribs, stepped on his foot, spit in his face! grrrrrrrrr. he can still look so nonchalant abt it when yas and me were staring at him. wad the hell. i was so pissed and i said "FUCK YOU!" until so damn loud. GO AND DIE. ROT IN HELL. YOU TOUCH ANOTHER GURL LIDDAT EVER AGAIN, MAY YOUR HANDS ROT IN HELL, ROT UNTIL GOT SO MUCH MAGGOTS, YOUR FINGERNAILS GET PLUCKED OFF AND MAY YOUR HANDS BE FULL OF HOLES MADE BY MAGGOTS. grrrrrr. -traumatised until cannot traumatised liao- sobs

2004-02-28T22:26:00.000+08:00

i've decided to become his dragonfly.

and

confusion has brot me to this conclusion.

those whu heard the dragonfly story wld noe why i chose to become his dragonfly.
-smilesx-

2004-02-24T22:28:00.000+08:00

oh gawd. you noe wad? FORGEDDIT
i'm tired of having to please her already alrite.
i haf a lot on my mind.
and if she still wanna act so childishly
go ahead.
i'm beginning to dun gif a fcuk.
i think she's falling into trap of menopause or some friggin huge pms.
everytime i'm reading, she will turn off the lites in dere.
like wadthehell?
and den she was shoving the bloodie vacuum around at like 8pm?
like wadthehell?
worse den a lil' kid's temper.
even my dad noes dat she's hafing some kinda stupid moodswing or pms or menopause.
tsk.
and he cant do anithing abt it, but my daddie has been very nice these few daes.
goodie for dat, or else i dunnoo how i'm gonna take living in this hse.
i even tried being nice. i dun get anithing.
blarhhh.
cant be bothered wif her ler. go haf your lil' princess tempers for all i care.

common test ended todae! wahahhax. was feeling so light.
studied like mad larh. i was so desperate last nite dat i even slot my bio tb under my pillow
hoping it will diffuse into my head?
i was THAT DESPERATE!
lol. but some of the papers were overall okay.
some sucked. ohwell.
not everything can go our way yea?
lol. peace out ppple. my next entry will be like in 54841554 yonkers more. lol.

2004-02-22T21:25:00.000+08:00

whu the hell does she think she is?
so wad if you are my mom.
so wad.
seriously SO WAD.
i noe you gave life to me.
but WHY GIF LIFE TO ME
when you noe i'm not going to be happy,
when you noe i'm going to be torturing myself every min,
when you noe wad a cruel and horrible world it is,
when you noe wad a disgusting competitive world it is
i respect you
i love you
but now i simply dunnoo
my respect for you is depleting
wad if one dae i will haf no more respect for you
wad if...
wad if one dae all cuz of you i wil haf no respect for myself
wad if...
i noe you're not in the best of moods,
i noe i am not.
but dat duzzun gif you the right to vent your anger on me
to slap me
YOU HAF NO RIGHT TO...
how do you expect me to still respect you fully when you dun show me respect.
you wish me hell
I WISH MYSELF HELL.
venting your frustrations on me izzun enuff to you
making me cry is not enuff for you
you also hafta vent your frustrations on lil' bro too
you hafta make lil' bro cry too rite?
you hafta make all our lives hell rite?
is dere some kinda sick cheap thrill you get out of this?
i hate it when pple vent deir frustrations on anithing and anione dey see without any rhyme or reason
and my mom just happened to be like these pple.
to make the two of us feel horrible is one thing.
to make the two of us cry is another.
wad the hell is fucking wrong wif my family?

you just made my life more worse den it is
you just made it worse.
YOU JUST MADE IT WORSE DEN HELL.

2004-02-22T14:39:00.000+08:00

A Clown's Story

You were there always when other people need a hearing ear or someone to confide to.
You were there, relently when someone needed your shoulder.

You tried to bring laughter and sunshine to everyone's day.
You tried to make everyone laugh and hype even when your're unhappy.
You tried to make someone special even when they treated you like clown.

However, who would be there to console you when you're down. When you're feeling so sad and fill with agony?
When you're so dispair and lost? When you're cold and frightened?

No matter how bad people treat you, you made them feel like angels.
You tried your every best to make them smile, while they resort to every means of hurting you.

You did not want yourself to admit defeat when people sarcase you, thus, you chose to remain a happy chap.
You tried the best of diverting the topic which seems crude.

You've shared your woes with others, people think that you're great.
They suggested you to be yourself and to be selfish for once.
But, what do you call a tree without leaves? Where can a goldfish swim besides water?
What can a clown do if he fails to make other's smile?

Looks like this - is life.

2004-01-20T12:54:00.000+08:00

hafnt updated in wad? exactly ten days. ertbsx. din go to sch todae. need a break and since todae's a short dae. decided not to go. sighh. haf been hafing a crazie start of the year. totally no time for anithing else. my daes haf been like this : wake up at 530, bath change go to sch, 7 reach sch, start the dae off. crazie long time table. and den i end at 43O. 430!!!! torturous. and its only just the beginning. wonder wad it will be like in the middle of the year. mite as well tell us to stay over in sch. weehee. lol. and den reach home quite late ler. den wad i do? bathe, help my mommie wif some vacuuming. and den! i start revising and studying AGAIN! wow. not sae i din spend nearly 11 hrs in sch yeaaaa? and when i get home. the books face me again. i think the books sick of seeing my face larh arhhh! and den sometimes i forget to eat dinner again. bleargh. by the time i rmbr, it will be damn late, and i get leftovers which are pathetic. and den i will haf no appetite. so no dinner. =( sighhh. dunnoo wad's up wif my appetite larh arh. dowan to eat dowan to eat. pfffffft. and den when i get to sleep, wowee! its HEAVEN! and den i sleep. ZzZzZZz and den i wake up and VOILA! its a brand new dae. hahax. i'm rambling on and on. blearghh. i wish i haf time for myself. if i dun stop this routine, i'm scared i gonna break down. or rather i did already. i broke down on sat? sighh. and its only the beginning of the year. its just the FIRST month. i was practically going crazie. i felt as dou the world wanted to crumble on me. vannieeee. sorrie if i freaked out ya out. but you just hafta remind me dat i'm gifing up the things i love, the pple i love, and the stuff i love. sighh. i wish i can hold on to dem. but i'm tired of getting blasted by my dad and i just wanna make things rite this year. when o's finish, i'm still gonna be back to wad i used to be. do the things i love, pick up the pieces i left behind all for o's. blearghh. i wanna be happie once more. but i guess dat's a lot to ask for rite now. cuz all i can do now is just to concentrate on my o's. CONCENTRATION! hahax. i'm not gonna complain. its the o's. i just hafta gif everything up meanwhile. hee.

2004-01-10T10:46:00.000+08:00

so many things happened yesterdae. totally crazie dae. -.-" reallie totallie madness dae. study like mad. during a maths, i tried to sleep. slept like 25 mins? and it felt like as dou i haf slept forever. shows how i am so deprived of sleep. i bet some of you are ORH HOR! how can sleep during class?! i dropped amaths ler! heehee! so darnnit happie. if i hafta continue with it, it wld haf just killed me. blah. den studie like crazie liao, went town for a very very short while to kill time in between dismissal and preparation of campfire. and came home darn late. bleagh. but i din sleep till like 2am. cuz i was doing something. pffffffffft. and miraculously! i slept like 7 hrs last nite and i'm awake now! omg. hahax. i'm the queen peeg of sleeping and i actuallie not sleepie now. the sky is really falling. pple prepare to hold the sky up.

2004-01-08T20:24:00.000+08:00

sighhhhhhhh! i'm so sadded. i lost my wallet todae! ARGHHHHHH. so irritating. i've nv lost a wallet before. or rather once. but i found it back again. AND ITS THE SAME WALLET. tooted. chloe and mantha lost the SAME WALLET too. shucks larh. i think dat wallet's cursed or sumfing. chloe lost dat wallet and nv found it back. mantha lost it but found it back. and i lost it for the SECOND time. fooking wallet. i bet its cursed. HRMSX. now i'm totallie broke. almost all my money in dere! FRIK.

2004-01-05T19:15:00.000+08:00

sigh a new year haf begun. and so has hell. =|
oh wellsx. aniwaeeeee, sch reopened and the first dae was *shrugs* fine i guess.
even dou our class was like "discriminated" upon.
i noe its our fault larh. for not doing finish our work.
but why issit dat other classes get the grace period and ours was DIE DIE must hand up on first or second dae of sch? -glares-
erts. wadever. i give up on the teachers.
alot of crap happened since the new year started.
i'm gonna turn into a nerd -jan's quote-
other classes get grace periods to finish deir hol hwk while ours get DATELINES -alicia's quote-
pretty nice quotes eh. -winksx-
not going online for long periods animore.
need crash on my books.
to revise everything dat i study in sch for the dae.
everydae. or else i will forget.
esp chem =| -blinks-
*chants* i'm going to work hard i'm going to work hard i'm going to work hard
wheesh me lark peeps. =]
been studying alot these days. revise my sec 3 work.
but i fear being dissappointed again. -sigh- by my results. sigh. i nv seem to make anithing work. =|
nvm. i'm determined to work hardddd! -smilesx-

2003-12-31T23:39:00.000+08:00

i seriously hafta let you all see this forum:

http://xtremepaintballcanada.com/vancouver/forums/index.php?showtopic=1544&st=0

after reading the posts left by everyone frm ALL OVER THE WORLD, i feel lucky and grateful for my health, my family, my friends, my ability to do anithing i wanna do. also quoted frm some posts "it just makes me wanna be a better person" of how so many pple just got together: medical team, forum admin, everyone and esp the one person, sierra whu remains mysterious and anonymous and humble although he has changed pple's lives drastically. truely remarkable story. =] actuallie i feel very speechless now. very very speechless. all i can sae is, pop by and you will get wad i mean. truely HEARTWARMING! =]

currently 413 pple are reading the same topic. and these 413 pple come frm ALL OVER THE WORLD! every single page i view next, the no. of pple keep adding. wow.

2003-12-25T18:56:00.000+08:00

oh man. i suddenly haf this URGE to go back to my primary sch. i really wanna see how its like now. i wanna see how it has changed. i wish i can see how my teachers are like now. although i bet most of dem are gone. either retired or transferred or simply quit. if i cld i want to meet all the level mates. six years in a sch. so much memories. HAIS. i wanna go backkkk!!!!! but no time. once sch reopens i will be stuck in sch, how to go back to primary sch. tsk tsk tsk. sighs. i miss my primary sch.

2003-12-23T20:31:00.000+08:00

You look at me and see the girl
Who lives inside the golden world
But don't believe
That's all there is to see
You'll never know the real me

She smiles through a thousand tears
And harbors adolescent fears
She dreams of all
That she can never be
She waits in insecurity
And hides herself inside of me

Don't say she takes it all for granted
I'm well aware of all I have
Don't say that I am disenchanted
Please understand

It seems as though I've always been
Somebody outside looking in
Well here I am for all of them to bleed
But they can't take my heart from me
And they can't bring me to my knees
They'll never know the real me.

2003-12-22T21:21:00.000+08:00

those whu dun like boy bands STAY AWAY frm this post! hahahax.

had such a tiring daeeeeeee. sang my lungs out. now head splitting and my torso keep cramping. frm too much luffter and singing. or rather yelling. and my eardrums like wanna burst already. we were the LOUDEST room at paradiz sia. serious. no kidding. no exaggeration. was even tested. until dere was this guy whu walked past and started singing the song we were singing to. -chuckles- everytime the waitress comes in to ask us sumfing. i'll be HUH?! cannot hearrrrr!!! hahahax. sang for like 5 and a half hrs. hais. my poor throat. kone for 5111651216541616 times. jolin for 51816518165 times. R&B for 54916981651 times too. and worst still, the room opp us was like so boring. dey just sat dere and pass ard mic and sing. but we were jumping abt. rawking abt. until room opp us, the guy keep gawking. like a -.-" face. and even luffed at darren in long quan. when he still had dreadlocks for hair. LOL! utter LOL! not only dat, came up wif a lot of crappie things to like chloe's baby bloo blood. mantha's navy bloo blood. and jie and me troo blooo blood. lol. -inside joke alert- i gave flying kisses X 518165 times to my darleenk blankie. heheheh! i bet he drowned due to my kisses. hahhax. this is the only time we can crap together till next year. hais. saddening. next year gonna be so dull, hafta study all the time. nose in the books. hais. wad ta do? sacrifice for a year, den let loose after dat. -cheekie grynnsx-

2003-12-21T18:11:00.000+08:00

heylooooooooo. haha. i noe i hafnt update in yonkers. pretty lazie larh. =P so many things happened. so much to type out if i was gonna relay everything in here. so obviously i'm not going to. since i'm much to lazieeeee. =P laalaaalaalaaaa. but now i'm divided into threeee. how nice. THREEE. not one and only animore. pfffft. mebbe some wont get wad i mean. nvm. =P

2003-11-29T20:36:00.000+08:00

whoa. seems like the last entry struck something in a few pple. -shrugs- i was feeling damn washed out and was practically bawling my eyes out in the middle of the nite during dat period. everything seemed wrong. and cuz i was afraid i was gonna die a sad person if i continue living my life liddat. so i'm trying to be as happy as i can. try not to stress myself too much. only stress myself over necessary things yea? hahax.

but den cuz i'm doing stuff i'm happie. going crazie being happie. its burning a hole in my puny teeny pocket. lol. cuz going shopping makes me HAPPIE! hehehee. as happy as a lark. and i'm still going crazie over shopping. goshingneh. lol. dere are simply too many nice BEE-YOO-TEE-FOOL thangs to get. like numerous friggin chio heels, friggin chio sunglasses, FRIGGIN CHIO HOODIES! esp the emily strange ones and dere's this lime green one which is so cute. the color's so kewt. and mannnnnnnnn. i'm so in love wif emily strange stuff now. but all available only thru shipping. arhhhhhhh.

how cute is this?!

GRRRRRR. I WOULD DIE FOR THIS. hahahhaha.

i'm simply in love wif hoodies, heels, sunglasses, bags, HATS!! everything. man, i'm so afraid once i start working, all my money's gonna go bust on all these. hrmsx. i'm so in love wif so many stuff. but i cant get dem. shucks. this sucks. grrrrrrr. nvm. i made numerous purchases yesterdae so i'm happieeee! lol. got the stuff i wanteddddd. made the professional outfit COMPLETE! hehehe. actuallie not reallieee. i wanna get a hat. hmmmmmm. heard dat billabong has one nice hat. hmmmm. gonna check it out. laaaaaalaaaaalaaaaaa. i'm going crazie over shopping. lol. i shld be a personal shopper. laalaaa. anione willing to pay me to shop for you? -grinsx-

2003-11-22T20:59:00.000+08:00

lalalalaa. i noe i hafnt updated in 516541651 yrs. =P but been hafing a rather up and down week. =X happie at times, sad at times. and i realise abt how much happiness means to me. rite now, nothing matters, except for my own happiness. selfish you mite sae, but i'm tired of having trying to satisfy pple dat i dun become ME. my own person. i become someone else. totally not worth it. will i be happy? i definitely dowan to die a sad person. cuz trooth to be told, i had suicide thots, but hais. i was a very very very very FIRM believer in not cutting or committing suicide. but my soul is faltering. scared i mite gif in one dae. -prays to be strong- so all dat matters now, is BE HAPPY. so if i die tmr, i wont die a sad person, i will die a HAPPY person. grateful for everything. dats how i wanna die.

2003-11-10T22:38:00.000+08:00

wheeeee. rebonded my hair todae. laalaa. like nearly 5 and a half hrs?! 5 and a half butt numbing hrs?! i was literally going crazie. driven crazie hafing to sit dere. aishan nearly went crazie waiting for dem to finish doing my hair too. lol. she finished faster den me. hahax. =P den were crapping all the wae. laalaaaaa. oh! i've got one thing to sae. farking gau. tskkkkkk. diediediediediediediedie. hahax. =P

2003-11-09T13:11:00.000+08:00

my toe went WAM BAM! into the edge of the door, when i was scurrying out of my room. dunnoo for wad also. and yeuch. half of my last pinkie toe nail is like hanging for dear life. yeuch. its like so damn bloodie?! bloody gang! i need your plasters! =P prettie nothing much happened to me for the past few daes, except dat i got my denim blazer! wheeeeeee. =]

2003-11-04T22:33:00.000+08:00

i contemplated doing two things dat i never thot i wld even THINK abt.
and i cant beliefe dat todae i actuallie even thot abt it...

i so much wanna go back to my past, to be a lil' gurl all over again.

when i was 5, my mommie was my heroine.

i looked up to her, to me she was the greatest woman...

when i was 10, my mommie was like an irritating bug i cant shake off.

but den i still looked up to her, no matter how irritating she can get...

when i was 12, she was like a monster who was out to make my life miserable...

although i felt like as dou i hated her, i still looked up to her...

now when i'm 15, she's like a stranger

an absolute stranger...

if at 15, she's already like a stranger,

wad abt the future?

wad will she be?

will she matter to me animore?

or will she be someone whu is just another human fading into the backgrd?

just another human whu duzzun matter or bother me animore?

2003-11-02T10:31:00.000+08:00

dose going to eat macs anitime soon, pls pls pls call me! hahahhax. i need your help. lalalalala. fankiesx. =]

2003-10-29T21:44:00.000+08:00

i guess rite now i feel much much better. but i wld be lying if i said everything's alrite already. mebbe it will nv be alrite? i just hafta take each step by each step and do my best and work hard i guess. heyyy ks, after reading your blog, reallie glad you had lotsa fun during your hol in aust. hahax. =] i wheesh i was dere. gahhhhhh. =P but dun worry abt me yea? i'm slowly picking up the pieces and trying to piece everything back together. so dun worry, i wont do anithing stoopid. since the start i nv believed in cutting, so i will nv do it. mebbe i was irrational so it was like an option. but not animore. i've thot abt it and its simply not worth it. so dun worry yea? and dang gurl, do i deserve being called your greatest fren in dis world? hmmmm. and dun worry yea ks? to me you are still the same ks and haf NEVER changed and you haf definitely not let me down before. so yeaaaaaa. thankew to those whu haf given me your support, for asking me whether i'm okay anot. for everything. for all the encouragement, for believing in me. you all trooly rawk my lyfe.

i guess most of us haf mellowed down by now. all of us are growing up and we are not wad we used to be, innocent and happie, without a care for anithing in this world. and OF COURSE you can hang out wif me anytime yea! i missed ya alot! hahahha. missed all the carefree happie daes, luffing all the time. abt all kinds of crap, abt fake british accents, abt stalking shuai ges, abt making lip indentations on our macs ice creem. hahahax. everything seemed so much happier last time. why did we all grow up so fast and hafing to move on? why are we being immersed in all this problems? why cant we be wadever we used to be?

i yearn for the past, for the happiness, for the luffters and smylesx. i wanna hold on to the memories of pure happiness and bliss but its slipping thru my fingers. sigh. why cant i hold on to it?

2003-10-29T13:44:00.000+08:00

d.u.h rite. the meet the parent session turned out to be horrible. wad was damn disappointing was dat the one whu turned out to be more bastardy was not dat idiot but my own dad. todae was reallie an eye opener to me. i just found out abt how my dad's also a pure jerk. fancy saying this in front of me and den saying dat in front of dat idiot. the meeting wasnt a mutual discussion of my results at all. it was more like me being a captive and both jerks trying to drive me to a corner. thruout the whole meeting, i was biting and chewing my tongue frm saying wad i reallie felt. a duh i was expected to say wadever dey wanted me to sae. like i will ever be able to sae wad i felt. cuz if i did, dat idiot will chew me off already. and wad more frm the start of the meeting i started crying, and OH MAN! isnt dere tissue in your office or sumfing?! fancy giving me SERVIETTES. dat is so fooking consolable. *pats the idiot on the back... after the second half of the meeting, i gave up trying to put my points across. i just hmmm. and kept quiet at everything he said. AGAIN the same views dat i nv studied came. FARK YOU LARH. do you noe dat LIT'S NOT JUST ANOTHER LANGUAGE WHERE YOU CAN DO ANIHOW. YOU NEED FACTS, YOU NEED TO NOE YOUR LIT STUFF. SO SHADDUP AND DUN SAE DAT I NV STUDIED. you're not the only one whu's disappointed wif my results. I'M EVEN MORE DISAPPOINTED CAN?! ITS MY MARKS NOT YOURS, SO NATURALLY I WLD FEEL MORE FOR IT DEN YOU. i worked hard for this exam, you dunnoo, you said i nv, were you sitting beside me every min to see whether i was studying?! did you noe i gave up most of the things i love to do, just to study?! did you noe dat?! did you noe how much effort i put into it?! and for it to come back slamming as bad as ever?! do you noe how i feel?! apparently not. dad, both you and him "ganged up" against me, making me feel even worse, like as dou i deserved all this for NOT STUDYING. when will you ever consider me to be studying?! until i dun eat, sleep, go to the toilet, yawn?! every min to be studying?! i understand dat you all trying to find out wads the prob and trying to help me. I REALLIE DUNNOO WADS THE PROB! I DUNNOO! I'M AT MY WITS END ALREADY. i studied like mad and still its damn bad. dad, you nv compared my marks frm mid yr to finals. dere's an improvement. mebbe slight improvement. but i IMPROVED STILL. why cant you see dat?! why are you all focusing on results?! is this wad sch is all abt?! one mite be intellgent but once she sees the paper, she panics and forgets everything she has learnt. SO DUN JUDGE EVERYTHING ON JUST RESULTS WILL YA?! PSLE WAS DIFFERENT. SO DUN FARKING THINK DAT JUST BECUZ I DID WELL FOR PSLE I CAN DO IT AGAIN. EVERYTHING'S CHANGED. and wad he asked me to change my attitude. I DIN EVEN SAE ANITHING DAT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SAID. I JUST KEPT MUM AND QUIET. is dat wrong?! IF I HAD OPENED MY MOUTH, AND MY WORDS WERE BULLETS, YOU WLD BE DEAD i hate him. i hate my dad. i hate the two of dem for driving me to a corner. i hate crescent. i just wanna crawl up a hole and die.

and now i reallie finallie understand why pple cut. to some, when dey cease to feel anithing at all, dey need sumfing to make dem feel again, like a normal human, if nothing can make dem happie, den dey needta feel pain. so den dey cut, i guess cutting makes ya feel like human again? dat you can feel again. once you feel pain, mebbe you wont be feeling numb, emptiness? mebbe this applies to some, but dat was how i felt. even suicide seemed like a delicious thot. oh wellsx. rite now, i dun reallie feel anithing. just numb and emptiness? i'm too tired of screaming in my mind, of crying... my eyeballs hurt as it is. its over. i dowan to think abt it already. and wad? my dad expects me to be like wad i was BEFORE the meeting. happie. sorrie dad, i dun think i'll ever smile. not for now. you reallie made me damn disappointed. i thot you were a partial person. not a hypocrite. and i esp hate it when you blame it on MY CLASS?! MY FRENS?! dey haf nothing to do wif this alrite?! all of dem did better den me. i'm just stupid alrite. not intelligent. accept the fact dat i'm stupid yea? -i.m.s.t.u.p.i.d- precisely why i wanna crawl up a hole and die. cuz if my results is the key to happiness in my future and my life. den i wld sae dat death is definitely the only solution rite? if everything revolves over this, den i reallie got nothing much to sae already.

2003-10-25T19:25:00.000+08:00

was going crazie if i hadta stay at home todae. AND SHUCKIESX! i got my *ahem* todae. sheeeeeesh. i'm so sadded. so decided to go out. apparently aishan too was going crazie, cuz she din go out at all this whole week. awwwww. poor thang. JIAYOU! study like mad kiesx? must do well. harharhar. =P and soooo. dragged her and sarah out. just to walk walk. cuz i reallie reallie needta get out of the hse or else i wld go mad. i guess even if got no one to pei wo. i wld haf just gone walk walk myself. +P lol. den decided to just go see see shanwei. and goshingneh. he's reallie the guy wif the beeeeeg heart. and he's bouncy too! like me. hehsx. =P but he's sooper dooper kewt larhhh. so nice summore. reallie down-to-earth. acknowledged all the fans everywhr, even behind the stage. reallie nice of him. and summore listens to the crowd. most stars wont bother. =P but he's darn kewt and frenly. and he reallie care abt his fans sia! reallie nice guy. hahhax. =P

bot my butterfly hp accessory, and i found another one to buy! an X wif a fishbone. meaning i still hafta get the 'rella' hp accessory, dat one i just saw, neck strap [dinah's helping me get frm aussie! love yaaaa! =]], dennnn summore got the chick one and urhhh got lotsa larh. my fone's gonna be heavieeeeee. hmmm. i reallie need the neck strap/lanyard thingie siaaa! i haf so many hp accessory to hang. cant sai into my fone animore. aishan nearlie died-ed hafing to sai threee! only THREE! hp accessory into my fone. =P WHEEEE! NECK STRAPPPPP! cuteeeeee. kawaii!!! hahahx.

2003-10-23T23:29:00.000+08:00

oh wowie. sch was so friggin exciting todae. soooooo ~~exciting~~. d.u.h it wasnt. nothing to do the whole dae. all ya do is crappppp. wads the use larhhh. i rather stay at home and sleep in my own bed. rather den hafing to wake up so friggin earlie and drag myself to bed. hais. but den now is the whole period i can slack when going to sch. frm the start of next year, i will embark on the journey of maths, bio, hist and studie like mad. hais.

wads the point of hafing such a strict lifestyle in sch when it just makes students hate sch even more? sch's not supposed to drive us to desperation and tears and hate. its sumthing dat we shld look forward to. sadly in singapore, dats how it is sia. =P

my lyfe is so friggin boreeeeeng now. nothing to do. all i do is watch tv, use the comp, SLEEP, eat, do business. and nothing else. rahhhhh. isnt dere anithing fruitful to be done? tsk tsk tsk.

2003-10-22T13:04:00.000+08:00

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2003-10-20T21:50:00.000+08:00

and just now i was saying, its over, forgeddit, you cant change anithing, its all dere already. and now i wanna sae. SO WAD IF ITS OVER. ITS OVER, MY LYFE'S OVER. why the hell is everything so difficult?! even the subjects i expected to do well in disappointed me. esp my hist and ss. WAD THE HELL. i just wanna scream and scream and scream and scream. till this anger disappears. SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM!

2003-10-20T21:35:00.000+08:00

hais. i chose to cry larh. although its useless to cry over spilt milk. but i tried my best. i tried. hais. oh wellsx. tmr's the results of whu's retaining, whu's promoting, whu's leaving. i just cant bear the thot of even having to sit in da classroom, listening to da decision made by the sch. to have to listen dat some pple are retaining or leaving. i dowan anione to leave or retain! like whu wans rite.

2003-10-20T21:24:00.000+08:00

hais. i'm so scared. so scared. not only for myself. but everyone. everyone. i want everyone in 3g3 to get promoted to sec 4s. EVERYONE. no one to retain or leave. i want everyone to hand in hand together get promoted to sec 4 and take our o's together. HAIS! i feel frigging sad and disappointed. i put in lotsa lotsa effort for this exam kiesx?! i forgo everything. going out, computer, even eating? hah. always studie until sae 'later den eat larh', 'later den eat larh.' den can 10++pm still hafnt eat dinner. until i dun eat. no appetite. haisx.

got pple nv studie until the dae itself. can get higher den me. hao shi bai orh. SHI BAI SHI BAI. dats wad i am. mebbe i shld swear off studying. run off to timbuktu. become urhhh. tribal princess. lol.

farkshitifiedboobifiedbitchifiedfookingirritatingstinko
brainlesspieceofshiteandmucuspoopifiedfookfacesx

ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHH!

i just wanna scream and scream and scream and scream. i feel so screwed and defeated. how can i studie and still do badly?! wad shld i do to score?! studie until i go crazie?! pls larh. dere's more to life den just exams. but too bad i was born in singapore dat i practically haf no life. all thanks to exams. and sch. *pui* if i nv studied and i do badly. fine! i deserve it. but to study like mad and yet get so low. its so demoralising. so hurting. so EVERYTHING. mebbe i shld just give up and not study. i want a smarter brain. so dat its more resulting for me to put in effort WIF a smart brain. wif no brain, 100000 times the effort i put in for this exam will not work. until i dunnoo whether to just luff at my stupidity or cry cuz of it. to luff or to cry is the only question i haf now.

2003-10-18T20:22:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh! samsung's new fone is SOOPER DOOPER KEWL! chao nice. the features are damn nice eh. i think its E700. its damn nice. hehsx. if i wanna get it also, must wait long long. for it to firstly COME OUT! and den wait for first batch to sell finish. den get second or later batch. first batch usuallie lotsa probsx one. tsk tsk tsk. but i dun like the design. but the features DAMN NICE! tsk tsk tsk. if both i like oso wah lau. piangs. dreem fone. hehsx.

2003-10-18T19:28:00.000+08:00

i realise some changes in me frm last yr to now. last yr sit, haad, ks, dani and me wld go town like mad. everydae oso go. den come home late late. hais. esp sit and me. =] until we had to impose a one month ban on ourselves. or else in the future we will hate town for going dere too much. town's getting boreeng man. tskk. aniwaesx, den also last yr i used to stay online most of the time. now i cant stand it. or rather i cant tahan since a month before exams. too much in front of books. din bother abt the comp. now a lil' while and i'm tired and dowan to sit in front of comp lerr. and hais. another huge change too. but i rather not sae it here. =[

aniwaes, i got my xuxu poster todaeeeeee. wheeeeee. thanksx jie! muacks muacks muacks. hehsx. =P den saw lotsa boots todae. other den those plain black ones. SUPER CHIO. we saw one SUPER CHIO. and wah lau its not ex for boots lorrr. we were like oh gosh. and erbsxx. saw some pple todae. freekie. tsk tsk tsk. walked around like mad. hais. my pinkie toe hurts. tooted canvas shoes. how am i supposed to survive?!

2003-10-16T17:15:00.000+08:00

yazzie's bloggie's damn kewl. she's always constantly talking abt something dat is thot-provoking. unlike most of us, whu talk mostly abt our dae or just crapping around. esp the entrie abt goon and rules and "theft" issue. POWER to the YAZZIE! hhahax. *winksx. newaesx, had lotsa sewing to be done. or rather did a lot of sewing todae too. hehsx. sew sew sew sew. even those pple whu think wld nv sew, HAF tried to sew. lols. nothing mucha to sae larhh. but oh wellsx.

i realise dat last yr i was more carefree, nv thot much of my studies, was happier back den too. cuz i had freedom. no worries, no nothing. but now hais. everything's just coming back looming overhead us. wad wif exam results and everything else. worst still, we were told to enjoy ourselves to the fullest till sunday, after dat, its hell. hell on earth. hell in 3G3. -hell- arhhhhhh. grrrrrrrrr. arhhhhhh. grrrrrrrrrr. its nv gonna be the same next year. -sighs-

2003-10-13T13:26:00.000+08:00

had a real longgggg week of exams. >.<" but everything's over. for now dat is. >.<" its time to relax, chill out and leave everything aside. just had fun and be happie? hehsx. =P aniwaesx, pretty nothing much happened last week. wad ya expect?! its an exam week. was busie rushing home to studie. haisx. hope dat everything turns out OKAY. i'm not even asking to do WELL. okay is enuff. =P

everyone has troubles larh. even the most happiest person on earth has troubles. do you realise dat those pple whu show you a smile everydae, whu luffs all the time, may not necessarily be trouble-free and happie? everyone has troubles, stress, worries, everything. and pls, EVERYONE noes how to get angry. everyone has a limit to deir patience. a LIMIT. even the most patient person will burst somedae dat is if you treat her like dirt. i've seeing this scenario now. and i'm afraid dat person's gonna burst sumdae, sumtime, and man it will be scarie to see. too scarie. -peeks thru my fingers- oh wellsx. stop throwing your tantrums around. even the most patient person i noe will scream at ya soon. so stop being a kid. S.T.O.P I.T. cuz its soooo not funnie.

blahsx. dunnoo wad i'm crapping. sheeshingfide. erbsx.

2003-10-02T11:53:00.000+08:00

hell. i'm sweating like madddd. and its like freaking 18 degrees in my room. and i cant seem to breathe properly. arhhhhhh. i feel so horribleeeeeeeeee. sobs. and i had a freaking cold bath. and i'm sweating like maddddd. sobs. i wanna be healthyyyyyy!!!

2003-10-02T11:30:00.000+08:00

grrrr. like finallie i can post. tooted blogger has been bonking on me. tskkk. aniwaes, now i feel so damn sickkkkkk. arhhhhhh. hewp. i feel so bloodie horribleeeeee. how to studie?! i din like go to sch this whole week. =P monday went home after 3 periods of nothing. den tues only appeared for cme exam. and weds i've been at home studying. todae supposed to studie toooo! but now i feel so horrible. whole nite tosss and turnnn. hewp. i feeeeel so horribleeeeeeeee. i rather be healthy and studie like mad. den be sick and cant studie. cuz in the end i still hafta take the exams rite?! grrrrrr. lets seeeeee. tues we went to visit bell at the hospital. the nurses like hate us or sumfing issit?! hrmsx. told us only two at a time. in the end manage to sneak in all of us. hehsx. and bell's in private room wadddd. so not like we gonna disturb other patients?! -.-" aniwaes. hahax. sarah was paranoid we were gonna get caught by the nurses. hahahx. and reallie one nurse came in. freaked us out larhh. hahax. but oh wellsx. it was fun fun fun. crapped-ed alot. first mini-gathering of 88 since merlion park? hahax. =P anddd. took quite some fotos. wheeesx. anddd i realise bell's parents loveeee to stuff us wif fooood? hahahax. first her mommie last time during the op c, burger king. den her dad was sushi. hahahx. and bell you've got a variety of visitors arh? frm cgs to aes to kc to nyp. hahahx. =] SHEESH! i still feel horribleeeeeeeeeee. hewp. -yelpsx-

2003-09-19T22:29:00.000+08:00

todae damn chao BANG lor! its like 12 pple din come to sch?! all pon to skip bio test larh arhh? >.< quite an okay dae larhhh. hehsx. and stuff in sch turning out quite okay for me i guess? improved. my lit got 19/25!!!!! -beamsx- thot i did badly for dat paper. and like an urhhhh? everyone got a photocopied version of my paper. and i dun even haf MY OWN paper! >.< hrmmm. den amaths getting better for me. like i'm understanding stuff and can do my own sums. hehsx. and mrs lucy tan praised me! twice i think. hahax. i thot she hated me. hehsx. BUT! my results still come out damn badddddd. hope and prays my results will be okay for the finalsx. i'm working damn hard now! super dooper hard! =]

2003-09-19T22:27:00.000+08:00

*knocks head. this morning den it hit me den i will nv be able to visit her again. ='C never be able to talk to her or hold her [wrinkled with age but holds lotsa stories] hands! hais. and my mom's still so damn sad. still keep saying dat her dear grannie seemed so contented and radiant. some pple die wif scared expressions on deir faces, but she keep saying dat her dear grannie died contented surrounded wif pple she loved and whu loved her. but i still cant get over it dat two of my mommie's sisters din turn up for the funeral. or rather dey came damn late. like a TSK! larh. my great gran doted on the two of dem the most. and in the end dey came so fooking late. TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK TSK. my great gran din bring up my mom. but she was dere. she fooking brot up the two sisters and dey din appear. like a wadthehell. tsk. hmph. and haisx. last kisses are always damn sad and heartbreaking. ='C

2003-09-18T20:26:00.000+08:00

haisx. i got my eyes opened todae. mebbe we've all been tooooo ignorant to everything. we think we shld enjoy all we like now. no matter how many sins we commit. but when dere's a death in the family or relative. dats when you reallie think back on your life. whether you've done anithing worthwhile or whether you've been wasting away your life. cuz everyone and everything will die sooner or later. haf some fun is okay but if risking everything just to haf fun is den not okay i guess? my only living great grannie passed away last nite. my other great grannie passed away around 5 years ago. and i must sae these women demand my respect. dey haf been in this world for up to 100 yrs [although deir ic states dey are around 95-98 when dey passed away, dey usually put deir ages to be younger last time. supposedly 17 become 14 or sumfing liddat.] wad haf dey not seen in this world? haisx.

i thot i wont crie, no crying i said. but a lot of pple cant control deir emotions, like me d-u-h. this great grannie of mine had a damn powerful memorie. she can rmbr every single detail. and till this age she can rmbr everything. peifu peifu i think i will be damn blur and senile when i grow old. haisx.

so much sniffling so much crying so much sobbing in the hse. and i see my mom crie for like 3rd time in my whole 15 yrs. 3 deaths in the family. 3 times only haf i seen her crie. and she was trying to smile while saying dat "my grannie's diff from other pple. i look at her andshe looks as dou she was smiling. smiling at all of us. i nv seen anione smile liddat before on deir deathbed..." -smilesx- i'm gonna miss her. i'm reallie gonna miss her. i already miss her now. ='C

2003-09-16T21:06:00.000+08:00

hmmm. sch reopened ler. less den 3 weeks to finalsx. no more time to play play. must studie like mad now. =| so saddening. haisx. oh welll. da second dae at jurong bird park was totallie horrible. no energy to type out wad happened. went to sch late todae. went at like 1150 den reach sch? hehsx. oh wellsx. had tummieache in the morning not my fault. hehsx. =P den i bot MUSTARD todae!!!! I MISS MUSTARD!!!! hhahax. and bot lotsa hotdogs to go wif the mustard. ehh. anione can recommend me aniwhr which sells delicious tartar sauce? i want to eat tartar sauce. dunnoo wads up wif me craving for sauces. hehsx. =P

2003-09-10T18:10:00.000+08:00

before i get tooooo whacked out to type out this entrie. i better do it now. hehsx. aniwaeeee. this morning i was so damn excited to go to jurong bird park? and work? hahhhax. =] i was driving the rest crazie? hehsx. =P but now dun ya think it was fun still? lol. =P fun in a sadistic wae. =P i reallie deduced some stuff abt birds todae:
1) even my shat smells like perfume compared to the bird shat. >.<
2) dere are a lot of different types of dove. hahahhax.
3) some birds shld be charge for harassment and assault. >.< dey are so urhhh BOLD!
4) urhh. forgot. hehsx.
i forgot ler wads the rest of the deductions i made just now. bleaghsx. and YUCKS LOR! the smell of the birds, i like can still smell?! tsk. like when you are on a boat, feel so unstable, den on flat grd will still feel unstable a lil'. SMELLIE! oh well. i was a part-time secretary, labourer, slave for NO PAY! =P hahahhax. oh wellsx. gained some knowledge abt birds? hehsx. sounds tooted. spent like 8 hrs at jurong bird park? hmmm. and figured out the gprs thingie for wanpin. hehsx. =] i love color fones. hahhax. OH! and i nv felt so yuckie in so long. cuz i felt quite squeamish. like so damn many birds and YUCKS all i can sae. haha. OH! and SNOWIE OWLSX ARE CHIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! super DOOPER CHIO! ohmygosh. i want oneeeee!!!!

2003-09-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

was crapping the whole dae todae. =P did nothing much. wake up, bathe, eat, change, chiong out, was still LATE. =P i think i'll be earlie onli for skool larhhh. hehsx. and den crapped around at hos. helped arrange the energy fotos on the flipbrds. can get sick of see-ing deir face. i not dat beeg of an energy fan oso noe wad dey wore to which event ler. -.-" free labour oei! hahahax. but i was bored bored bored bored aniwae. and den went to tangs to help me mommie buy her bbq plate? hahahx. but too bad. onli left like last piece? den a lot of damage lerr. -.-" den jie jie and me were talking abt a lotta stuff. and crapping like a D-U-H. i think i will nv live without talking crap. =P and came homeeee. my dad saw my urhh 56 album. hahhax. he was rolling his eyes away. hehsx. tmr me gotta go jurong bird park lerrrrrrr. adoooooooosh. waste my sept hols away. hehsx. =P

2003-09-08T21:52:00.000+08:00

i was just reading the ikea catalogue and dis time ikea had taken inspiration from the wonders of the children's imaginations. and just yesterdae i was saying i was bored bored bored bored. "Children are great at seeing things in imaginative ways dat we as adults often miss..." and now den i "realise" how much fun i had when i was young. wif practically nothing in hand. no materials no nothing. yet i could haf fun. i could be in my own imaginary world. and dun care abt anithing in this world, except hafing fun. last time, to me, a sofa wasnt JUST a sofa, it could become a castle, a cruise ship, a boat, a treehse or even the clouds for when i pretended to be a fairy princess whu was captured by the horrible monster and was rescued by the care bears to hide in the clouds.

i wld just grab my trustee pillows and blankie and go on a voyage. and just liddat i could be hafing fun. or i wld drive my mom crazie cuz den i will go around scrouging for torchlites, stix, blankets, to help me create a tent. and i could pretend i was going camping. =] or i would be finding some hankies to cover my darleeng cabbage patch kids the babies up. i had 3! =] dey were my darleeng babies. =] but i hadta gif one away to a lil cousin as dere was no more cabbage patch kids available. till now my 2 darleengs are in my wardrobe. but sad to sae, now i dun haf dat much imagination like the lil' kid i was, whu wld baby the darleengs. ='C oh the innocence and ignorance of being a kid.

its a no wonder why sometimes dey sae adults cant see some stuff dat kids can. for now i can bet dat all the adults are too caught up in life, too stressed up to be creative and to imagine all dey want. i miss hafing the pure innocent and ignorant fun i use to haf. so to all the kids in the world, continue hafing the innocent fun, continue imagining, continue being a K-I-D, for onli for a short period of time in this world is a person allowed to be a kid. =]

2003-09-07T22:51:00.000+08:00

my ulcer hurt like shat! grrrrr. and i dun even rmbr biting the right side of my cheeeek. hmph. pffffftt. and i just realised how boring it is to haf holidaes. dat is if you dun go out. =P all you can do at home is watch teevee, sleep and use the comp. and of course STUDIE! and den if you've got nothing to do, you hafta watch teevee again, sleep again and use the comp again! pfffffttt! oh-so-exciting! >.< i've been studying bio like maddddd. and i just realised how irritating it can be. >.< "

i need a source of entertainment. reallie need a source of entertainment! (X.<) cuz i've been bored sick outta my mind. and ive had a horrible dae i guess? boreeng and horrible. my dad's bad mooding the WHOLE dae. and my mom's been damn irritating. and my bro is EQUALLY irritating. and ive got nothing to doooooooo! >.<

2003-09-04T20:34:00.000+08:00

booooooo. dinch go to skooool. wheeeeee. must stop pon-ning. but last nite i was reallie going crazie. literally crazie. and everywhr was aching. and i felt totalie horrible and i couldnt go to sleep. and i totallie LOVE my parents afterall. i think i scared dem. i oso felt like as dou i was going crazie. going insane. and i was saying dat "wad if when i grow up i reallie go crazie? den you all hafta visit me at the mental hospital." dey were so nice to me last nite. and for the first time in years, my dad tucked me in to sleep. he told me to rest and must take care of myself. =] its been so long since my parents tucked me in at nite. =(

this morning my dad let me dun go to sch. hahahx. still felt quite horrible larhhhh. fever subsided a lil. hehs.

2003-09-03T20:58:00.000+08:00

and i lost everything i typed. bahsx. this is so frustrating. right now my mind is so blank. all my body parts hurt. and my head wanna burst soon. i just wanna sae some stuff. if this is how its gonna end. fine. but i thot. i thot.. i thot frens would give each other a chance to explain wad happened. to straightened out wadever dat happened. but i guess i was wrong. i've given up oredi larhhhh. wadever it is, wadever the truth is, wadever pple wanna believe. i leave it up to you. *takes a deep breath

so sorrie to sarah and aishan cuz i ruined your "high" and happie mood. but thanks for the shoulders for me to lean on. thanks to alicia and pin pin too. and i guess i freaked out a lot of pple todae? hmmm. other den the oh so cute mrs goh. who was so surprised to see me slumped on the wet floor in the toilet. YUCKS! cant believe i even sat dere. oh welll. she thot it was trouble wif police? no. principal? no. parents? no. school? no. *smiles. and i think i freaked out some pple along orchard road too. woooh. dey saw a "mad-woman-in-crez-u-walking-aimlessly-crying-all-the-way" woooooh. hah.

had a horrible nite last nite and a horrible dae todae. went to sch specially for guides. although my head hurt, everywhr hurt. hmmmm. so loyal to guides ya? =P had 284654165 nose bleeds last nite. was nearlie not sleeping the whole nite. horrible horrible.

2003-08-30T11:54:00.000+08:00

heheheh! i'm addicted to jolin. reallie addicted. hahhax. been listening to her album since god noes when. and still not sick of it. just too nyceeeee. hahahhax. =] and yucksx. i dun like cyndi. she's like a ripoff of jolin? hmmmm. bwahahahax!

2003-08-29T22:16:00.000+08:00

now so damn tireddd! hahahx. had lotsa fun todaeee. wheeee. =] and urmm. went to kbox? was dere frm like 2+ til 715pm or so. hehsx. sang lotsa lotsa lotsa songs. and getting high? hahax. and going madd. as usual. =P teachers dae totallie rawked. hehsx. wanted to go out wif the class for lunch. but totallie clashed wif someone's bdae. and like she was dere for mie bdae. so cannot dump her neh?! hehsx. so must go out wif her. or else i will feel guilty for the rest of my life? hehsx. hope all the g3 peepsx had lotsa fun todaeee! =] hmmm. reached home around nearlie 9. frm now on cannot play play too much lerr. must studie my head off for finalsx. =] grrr. i'm so frigging tireddd! and i scared i no voice sooooon. in school shouted and screamed like nobardie's beeswax. for the teachers and the concertt! hahahx. and den went to kbox summore. tsk tsk tsk. how can not lose voice soon? hmmm. =P

2003-08-28T14:00:00.000+08:00

haisx. i came back earlie frm sch todae.
too tired.
too stressed.
too freaked out.
too frustrated
too lethargic.
come home oso must face my mom.
tskk.
she's always going on and on abt something.
like i dun haf enuff things on my nerves
she adds on.
felt so freakie this morning.
i was seriously so damn worn out
felt like screaming at some idiots whu thot dat sch shld start at a freaking time like 720?
and dat cuz of sch i haf no life.
tskk.
everything revolves around sch.
blahsx.
now feel so damn WORN OUT!
i just wanna sleep and nv wake up?
grrrr.

2003-08-23T19:10:00.000+08:00

hmmmm. art awareness thingie was crapp.
make me sleepie noww.
hehsx. nothing much happened these past few daes.
normal crapp.
and mrs tan called me up after lesson and
actuallie said "dat was one of the hardest topics and you could answer all my ques. "
den wad crap dat "you can do amaths..."
"just dat you sit beside jan den tend to talk den nv pay attention?"
erbsxxx
cuz dat dae i was sitting alone? hahhax.
and urhhh. besides its not janice or whuever dat i nv pay attention.
it was becuz i was still slacking like nobodie's business.
now i'm working hardd!
so dat i dun hafta face flunking everything again.
so working twice harder den last time.
hehsx.

2003-08-21T21:29:00.000+08:00

hmmmm. todae was such a cute dae. hahahax.
cuz of the arts awareness shites happening in sch.
practically no lessons todae.
except for crappified onesx?
aahhax. aniwaesx..
a whole lotta bunch of us was sitting at the back of the classroom, just crapping? and covering ourselves wif the remaining red cloth frm nat. dae.
and den tried calling in to perfect ten.
for like an hr plus i thinkk.
7 fonesx! hahahax. power?
hahah. nearlie got irritated cuz jean danker din pick up our calls.
despite the 519841561981 times we got thru...
hmphhh.
den skali wan pin's fone luckie, GOT THRU!!
ahahahhax. quite funnie larhh.
but power. hahaha. dedicated simple plan's addicted.
shld haf dedicated it to mrs heng. for being a powerful tchr! =]
wheeeeeeeeeeeee...
just now was just too kewttt! =]

2003-08-16T17:38:00.000+08:00

heheh! i changed the whitey stuff to black ler. chio-er hehsx.
gRyNnszX!

2003-08-16T17:07:00.000+08:00

changed mie layout. =]
hahahhax.
and now look like this.
so whitey.
hehsx.
oh wellll.
took a damn long time to do the picture
shift here shift dere. managed to fit all of it inside.
hehsx. cheeeersx.

2003-08-15T22:07:00.000+08:00

haisx.
i just feel like sitting down here and crie.
the pressure the sch puts on us is sometimes too much.
and the thing is.
i work like mad.
and wad do my results show?
i feel so defeated sometimes.
and den i dun haf the power to work harder.
just in case i suffer another bout of defeat
do you noe how horrible dat feeling is?
to noe dat you worked ur ass off.
and yet everything comes back to ya like as dou you din studie.
i studied like mad.
everything comes back to me like shite.
defeated dats wad i feel.
and i just feel like giving up.
but den i noe i cant just give up liddat.
til when am i supposed to fite on?
|:

2003-08-11T21:23:00.000+08:00

okayyy. and now i'm arguing wif her whether she's fat anot.
PLS LARH! yoo fat?
hrrrmppphhh you like stick thin oredi?!
tskkk. nv appreciate. hahhax